They were good friends when they were young…they’d lie together under the stars…he’d search for constellations…she loved Jupiter and Mars.


The two of them were so young all they had to do it seemed…was to laugh and play and sit together under the stars…and dream.


And oh the dreams they dreamed…of things they’d do and the places they would go…never realizing at such an innocent age…there was much they did not know.


They didn’t know on those evenings looking up at the stars from her backyard that life would not always be that easy…or would hit her quite so hard.


As she grew up her life became one of sadness, of sorrow, of uncertainty and doubt.

He saw her sinking into a quicksand of depression…but he could not pull her out.


She left him a note the day she killed herself with instructions to read it…under either Jupiter or Mars…It read: I’m sorry to be leaving you but there’s just too much darkness between the stars.


He rereads her note often…on nights sitting under a starlit sky

and even after all these years…he still can’t help but wonder why…


Why he couldn’t help her find a way through her sadness…over the terror of her starkness…a way to help her see the stars…instead of all the darkness.


As he looks up at the stars today he tells her, “I’m still missing you…and I am sad for all the dreams we made that never will come true.”


“And I have to tell you something when we were young we couldn’t possibly have known…

It’s not as much fun dreaming…when you have to dream alone.”


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We lost a friend…he made his own life end…we had no time to prepare

News…hard to receive…harder to believe…that left us in despair.


Death disturbs me, it perturbs me, how it slashes like a knife

always lurking, coiling, smirking, ready to take a life.


Young or old, meek or bold, like a morbid game of chess

Poor or wealthy, sick or healthy, death takes us nonetheless.


No matter the season…sometimes without reason…from deaths clutches we can’t hide

It’s especially sad, it makes us mad…when death comes as a suicide.


Every day in the USA…suicides number 123

leaving friends and family to wonder…how did we blunder…what was it we didn’t see?


Who’s to blame, we sadly exclaim…we are dazed…confused…we’re stunned

We search our minds…how could we have been so blind….

was there more we could have done?


When he was blue, we wish he knew…on our strength he could have drawn

but it’s too late and now we bear the weight that someone we love is gone.


For the tragedy of his death, of his last breath, and why our tears are spilled

is not just that he’s passed…that he’s gone too fast…

but for the dreams he’s left unfilled.





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Work Family


In the age of time, 

Friends come and go,

But family lives in you forever. 


Some family becomes foes,

Others become distant,

While others become closer and closer. 

Some have demons,

While others have flowers within. (Metaphorically speaking)


With work family, 

We grow as a team,

We have Teamwork, 

We argue, 

We fight, 

But at the end,

We become One. 


Some work family stay quiet,

Others talk and talk,

Some share their stories,

Many express through thoughts,

While others are there for one another. 


We always lose family to many wonders of Life,

But in the end, we gain knowledge from those that leave us. 


Today, we remember & Reflect an LDC Brother. God may have gained an angel; but forever he will be in our hearts. Especially with the Officers at Forest Ranger Pursuit or an Apprentice to Merlin. But in the end, he will always be remembered as Justin. 


Justin, may you enjoy your life beyond Legoland. Until we all meet again. We will miss you!

April 9th, 2017



Author's Notes/Comments: 

On April 1st, I lost a dear co-worker due to suicide. My coworkers and I were heart broken to hear the news. So i decided to write a poem not only dedicated to him, but also to the Family Bond my job has with each other. 


RIP Justin!

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We Are Not Ready To Say Goodbye

It was about a year ago...we lost a friend to suicide.

How could we let that happen? It left us mystified.


She was a poet...a troubled soul

who lived in darkness...couldn’t see the light...

And I offer her this sad reminder

of the poems she’ll never write:


Her life was filled with sadness...too much agony and strife

Then, one day with no one looking, she ended her short life.


I’m sure she didn’t realize...the instant her life was done

With her sadness finally over...ours had just begun.


She was constantly pursued by demons, when awake and when she slept.

Engulfed by friends she endured the pain...alone...she often wept.


She’s gone now, perhaps a manifestation that life is more complicated than it seems?

I only hope she sleeps in peace...no longer hounded by her dreams.


And I implore anyone who’s depressed today...

remember you have friends and family nearby....

Willing to help in any way they can...


who are not ready say goodbye.

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Angels Die Young.

Did you count the stars wrong,

Were you just down on your luck,

Sam, they all say

That angels die young

So they can get back to heaven

To where they came from

You are now returned to God

But the road without you

Is long.




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Worthless & Shame

As I lie there feeling the suffer and pain,

I somehow ask God for forgiveness, 

I'm stuck by myself with a gun, bleach and razor blade,

Everybody has hurt me, downed me & has used me, 

I feel worthless its been centuries since I've seen the sun,

I feel like I'm drowning in a public pool and nobody can see me,

I've drowned myself in tears for several months now, 

I just want all the hurt, pain, and suffer to go away, 

As I cut deep,deep,deep, into my thighs, and wrists,

I ask my dear savour for forgiveness, 

I ask him to give me the strength to redeem myself. 


I ask my savour to give me my wortheness,

It just isn't enough, I go for the pills,

Next as I take 30 xanx I feel my self getting sleepy,

I doze off in a puddle of my own blood and sorrow,

Three seconds later I see myself sleeping, all my pain is gone,

As I go to the underworld looking for heaven, I tell my savour I'm sorry,

The pain for me is gone, but the pain is there for others, 

I'm sorry I could not do it anymore, hope you guys forgive me, 


                                                 I am sorry mommy, I love you..


Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this in the 7th grade. I am currently a sophomore. I have a big box of poems, and feel I should share them with you guys.

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Unnamed whispers

somewhere to explore, somewhere offshore,

you're someone to fall for, again we ignore,

to you, im just a decor,

I'm done for.


How dead do you want me to be,

i wont plea or agree, i want to flee

i'm not here to sightsee, please let me be-

why can't you see, im never free.

Sanity you're killing me!


why is it like this,

why aren't i happy,

why can't i breathe,

i'm underneath all your feet,

i can't cry, my eyes are dry,

i'm no good guy, blue sky watch me die,

can't laugh

can't smile

can't relieve

please, believe what i must achieve,

don't be naive, im here to decieve.


I'm jealous, and shy, 

please reply, i won't defy, i'm so nearby,

take me away from this sky, forgive my lie,

i live but strive-i cant survive.


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Gentle Whisps Of Hair

She closed her eyes and made a fist

And pressed the knife against her wrist

And winced and growled in twisted pain

As blood drained through an open vein

Hysterically eliciting rueful laughter

As her lovely face and clothes were splattered

And amid this scene of tragedy and gore

She said she didn't want to live anymore

Collapsing unconscious with her life receding

Deaf to the loud knocking and pleading

They'd found a note and started reading

Now they were rushing to stem and bleeding

Someone cried "don't die don't die"

Violently shook her 'til she opened an eye

They wrapped her wounded wrist in gauze

She was weakened by a severe blood loss

But who will cure the emptiness of her soul

Replace the blood but there's still a hole

She thinks herself worth less than rubbish

Focusing her thoughts on who she can punish

How to be morbid and darkly clever

Seen all her friendships wounded and severed

Made herself pretty with polish and gloss

Dies inside though no one saw the loss

Please let her frozen heart be thawed

She's known neon beauty but never known God