#confusion #frustration #try #scared #alone #life #struggle #fear

Moving forward

When I was a child

Everything seemed so simple

But now everything has changed

I'm in a stage of adolescense

A period of confusion

A period of unclearness

I feel it now and then

I'm moving forward

Along with this world


And now and then

The threatened intend
Dig deep an plow
A seed need not allow
Location indefinite
The search come inherit
Purpose and goal control
Seed sow allow no foal.
A mind corrupted, liquid state
Embrace the horror, us relate.
Fluid is as ice is rend.
The heat of fear makes water


Consider the greatest illusion of all


Its conception was a feat quite tall


Its truth is to be taken with a grain of salt


For its ugly side is no one's but your own fault


Honest reflection causes the pain to sear


It is nothing short of man's greatest fear


How could one have been so blind


A contract with destiny waiting to be to signed


To look around and realize one has been left behind


But what your left hand persued must be paid in kind


Fleeting thoughts of what should have been


To speak of it's unfairness is frankly dim


One might consider making the greateast of escapes


I warn that desire manifests in the strangest shapes


Some degree of comfort is to be attaind from steady stagnation


For the slightest measure of control offers the illusion of liberation


So contemplate the staircase of life with a great deal of consideration


For vanity is the broken step that tripped many into damnation


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Honest feed please.

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Will it ever change?

I need to get this feeling out of my heart, it's really tearing me apart but how do I do it? I don't know where to sTart! 

Going through an endless merciless hell, 

I cannot break the spell,

No matter how I try, this pain won't go away, 

Living aide of endless dismay,

Seems whatever I do, there's no way out,

No quick fix, what the hell is this all about? 

My loved ones get all my despair, my temper, my unhappiness, 

I'm surprised that they still care. 

Friends have used me, abused me, 

Now I've lost my trust in everyone.

If anyone ever hurts me, they will instantly lose me.

Is all this ever gonna change? I can't take this no more. 

It's gone out of hand, this feeling I've never ever had before. 

So where do I go, how do I get rid of this fear? 

Some days, forever into darkness, I could forever disappear.



If i say i fear my mind

You will think i'm mad

But why won't you take time to understand

For my mind plays tricsk on me over time


It always just starts off so sweet

Until the fear keeps creeoing in

Its also some memory or thing i've locked away

That my mind keeps bringing up each day

Each day i sit there and fear some more

Wondering why does my mind opend these doors


You begin to fear love
You begin fear joyz

Soon that fear becomes law
And then you you sit and sink deep

Into parts of your mind of which you do not speak


So fear is such a strong thing

But you need to control it

Cause without fear
You have hope

And without hope you have fear

So if you fearing your mind

Think of this line

"if fear fears hope then hope is the light , the light that will shine through the dark





If I go to bed early in the night

if I sleep longer I won't feel lonely any longer

If I have a glass of wine maybe I won't notice

If I pretend to have fun when I am out

If I can stay out longer 

If I can pretend to listen meaningless conversations 

Maybe I won't drift out of my body

If I can look at laughter of others and really know that it's real

Than maybe I will look for ways to have more laughter 

If I can find meaning that's real and passes all understanding

Maybe only a maybe I knew

If I am content or sad than maybe I wouldn't wonder any longer 

If I am an empty shell just trying to fill the remaining time of my life in this lifetime

Or maybe and only a maybe

The sun is always shinning

I just can't see it from all the clouds that I  surround  myself with

Cheers with Love

Wish you mostly sunny days in 2013

Gulten Dye