# addiction #recovery #life

Broke off a piece of me

Every one of my past surgery

Which honestly

broke off a piece of me

I was undeniably tested 

every time they opened me

Challenged surely but never

was my inner fighter bested 

Like I said previously,

every one of my past surgery

Honestly, broke off a piece of me

Nothing prepared me for this test

of my inner warrior

She was born on 7/13/2015

Those that know me

Know who I mean

The torture she put me through, 

was absolutely unforseen

I was thrown away

My past self, now sits on a shelf

She wouldn't recognize, the man I am today

Young and dumb

Definitely taken for granted and deceived

Thanks for letting me go

the man I've become you wouldn't believe

was inside of me 

he's always exist 

It someone I considered special

to drag my soul threw hell,

you opened my eyes to your web of lies

You got me friggin pissed

yet so focused 

Those previously broken pieces of me

Were actually collected, those segments

helped me through these dark days

here's the remnants

Of the bleeding heart

That's healing because we're now apart

Divorce definitely 

cut me open in a different way unlike 

Every one of my past surgery

Which honestly

broke off a piece of me

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A Little Further

Weary planks groan

Shuttered eyes squint

A little less than before


Rusty hinges squeal

Breakwater eyes sway

A little less than before


Sunshiny windows reckon

Ripen eyes fatten

A little more than before


Queer daybreak dawns

Crystalline eyes refract

A little more than before


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Inspired by recovery.

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A simple leaf

My mind does not wander

...my mind wonders

my soul has set it to task

to regain the recognition of the






to task-to reorder the world i

create by observation

to restore that what makes us


what is a planet but a particle

is an an atom but a solar system of a 


does not a vast universe exist in a

grain of sand as stars appear to be

mere speckles of distant light on the

shores of swirling galaxies

       A simple leaf

in it's perfect indiviuality 

is it not more complex than a moon


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Summer, 2015. Georgia

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In my head

I never thought of death until they put you in the ground

My eyes went dark like space

My mouth couldn't make a sound 

I still don't believe you

"they are dead"  you say

I can't sit here with my thoughts 

for a single day

I guess this is where the drugs come in

The shooting, the toilet water, the burn, the peace, the hell

I sit there drawing up "one more shot" and all they say is "well..."

I had it in me, I had the fight, there it is there it goes

Like a Roman candles light.

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eyes of immortality



we are each unique

and the same,



we walk the earth

in a body of flesh,


sometimes we hold great joys

within us, around us,

we readily share with the world

in hopes to place a band aid 

on wounds that gush blood like



other times we hold sorrows

and the depths of pain to sheild

the world from what we ourselves





and as we breathe the breath of life,

as lungs expand, so does our mind,

touching suns and moons,


we merge our inner and outer worlds

to unify all of life in spirit as one,

it is what this life is,


the reality of it gnaws at our desires to 

enjoy material lusts

for material riches,

and things of the ego,


we try to fight it, 

change it,

and we never can,


and have become helplessly fractured,



shattered into small bits and pieces

of what we think we are supposed to be,

instead of what we naturally are,

earth and heavens collide 

beyond what realms our eyes can see,


when we breathe,


angels and demons merge

together into infinity,


and too often,

we stand in the balance with eyes closed.





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Pressure on the Wound

Put pressure on the wound,
Although it won’t stop bleeding,
Insecurity has a hold around my neck,
As reflexes punch and kick.
Trying to get to the surface of a crowded mind,
Paranoia whispers chaos formed when silent and alone.
Too scared to lose what was always wanted,
Grip so tight it breaks under the demand for an answer.

Submerged in the chemical breakdown,
Six feet underwater, lungs heavy and full,
Sinking below what you once knew was true,
Lost in the anxiety that comes with the withdrawal.

Love is a dangerous drug; intoxicating,
Always leaving you wanting more:
Too much will kill you,
Without it we’d never feel alone.

Walking into a reality that shatters all form of sanctuary,
The ugliness of a lover’s hold that once felt safe,
Leaves a bruise of an embrace turned restraint.
Fear is a cunning manipulator,
Planting seeds that grow the inevitable tumour:
Put pressure on the wound and hope it stops bleeding.

From The Addict's Mouth

Within the dark walls of seasons past
I have worn the shroud my love for you has sewn
For too long did you beguile me
the comfort of your sweet whisper
forever floating through ears too eager
to taste the nectar of your lies once more
I wore your blindfolds proudly
unaware of the moons that passed me by 
without a smile
I held you close to me each night
and never knew I was alone
My mother's tears drowned in the white walls
and the street corners I called home
My eyes never dare break their steady gaze
always towards the floor
But alas, my callassed feet could not carry me from myself
my tired eyes could not look past who I'd become
my shaking hands could not hold on 
to the only life I've ever known
Still I hear your soft coo in my ear,
but my love, alas, our end is here.

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