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Why are my feelings always so dark?
Why are my feelings always so dark?
By jfarrell
Why, when something goes wrong,
Do I always go straight to thoughts and feelings of suicide?
I’m sure many have been where I am;
Done nothing wrong and just lumbered
With £800 worth of rent arrears.
And, though I don’t imagine they smiled,
Said “Thank you, guv’nor, shaft me some more”
I do imagine they got on with it;
Sucked it up, went out and paid it all off.
Instead, I just feel down, dark, full of rage
Full of self pity
This new obstacle before me just saps
What little hope and confidence I had
And all I can do is sit down and cry “I give up”
Why?
Why can’t I be like others,
Just suck it up and get on with it;
Find a job, pay off them arrears
Instead I feel I just can’t go on anymore
Why try? They’re only gonna kick me in the teeth again
And tell me to suck it up
I hate this self pity and I hate this anger
Hopefully, one day, a worm will turn
Fighting Depression
combatting despair, wresting sorrow and loss and failure and the whole pail full of negative things that can happen and usually do - is like weeds, they always come back for everyone - coping varies - I think death will come eventually, cry and then get up and do something - like write a poem or cut down some weeds.