ThoughtShock: A Manifesto Chapter 5


Chapter Five
'The Ride With the devil on my mind'

“Quivering in that corner,
those twisted thoughts.
A cannibalistic carnivore,
A delicacy when the flesh rots.”

I sometimes want to go to sleep and not wake up. As if already the burden of tomorrow seems too much. I know that must look selfish, when all I wish for is rest, peace of mind. I was not born into the upper class of society, was not gifted with athletic prowess, and I could not even finish public schooling.
I find that in the hours I've come to know as my Insomnia, laying down for the night and actually falling asleep. They have become the hours I find myself most at peace, The buzzing of ideas. Observations made throughout the day and dreams or goals, wishes and wants. Yet I know when I close my eyes and find sleep, the chaos of tomorrow creeps around the corner.

There are times in this life, moments that can bring you to the edge. Staring into the gaping void of your own soul. Confronted with your own demons, preaching their gospel. The devil in the mirror. The worst part of themselves drawn out for them to witness. Many would chose to ignore their problems, living their lives in a stagnate ignorant bliss.

Those who do seek to change, often find themselves fighting a losing battle, for when support becomes the only weapon against the addiction is there any shame in self denial? Excuses given reason to stand on merit alone does not forgive ones denial for the potential of enlightenment, perfection not found with God, but within God.
Good and bad become irrelevant for the struggle of one's soul, The true war is found within, as evil exists in us all as does the opposite. Divinity becomes our road just as our life and actions here become our legacy when we are gone.

'It becomes a shock straight to your heart
Am I alive or am I walking with the dead?
Zombies dancing to the thriller,
waiting in line for their killer
as time dissipates like liquid sand
memories like cheap thrills, on demand.'

I have often sat for hours, and wondered. Questioned what a persons worth truly was. Whatever reasons to why we are here, and who we are. Alive or dead, a thought or memory. The meaning of life, to live. Breathing day after day and realizing that each day in itself is a testimony to your legacy of being alive. A child that faces death does not worry about who will win what tournament. Each day becomes a treasure to hold even if it happens to be your worst. As a memory can become your greatest weapon against any strife. For when life becomes cold and ugly and beats you down, a simple memory can inspire you to stand, can help you overcome. Our minds are powerful and driven by our consciousness, that spark of life within us.

What if life were just a dream, and that when you die you simply awoke from a coma, all the dogmas were wrong. Everything you knew to be true was a lie. Heaven and Hell were just vices for control and blasphemy. Good and bad simply a creation of man's mind. No emotions for that was only a gift of a chemical chain. What if a thought became more than a memory. Transforming beyond desire or want. What if reality was just an illusion that we all create?

Rats in a Maze

We are rats running around in a fancy cage,
what if it were all just a simple illusion
The iron bars, the stone walls
if you saw the world through another's eyes
a reality experience so estrange to your own
and a life you once knew was only a dream.

Space becomes a vacuum for your soul
and your once proud legacy becomes void
In the darkness that is our abyss
Love can become hate,
and the experience is just as cheaper
as we all walk along side the reaper.

Looking past the mirror, the looking glass
a reflection so grotesque, a monster in a suit
eyes of gold, and smile with a rose.
Its the devil with no soul.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Well the formatting is different than in my hardcopy, but yeah I'm actually pleased with this one hope you enjoy it.

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Elfy's picture

Wonderfull! Lol I can't get

Wonderfull! Lol I can't get enough keep writting.