The Hour We Knew

The broken pieces remain scattered across the floor,
Collecting dust and dirt as time drags on by.
We walk barefoot amongst the remains,
Staring each other down as though we are each other's prey,

Fear formed from when we once slept as one.
Sharing dreams and make-believes,
Dirty sheets are where the passion's gone.
Doubtful intentions on a pleading promise,
Replacement organ where you bleed and have none.

I tread cautiously into retreating,
Setting myself up:
Dead aim, on target.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

That moment. All it takes is a few words to destroy a man.

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nightlight1220's picture

i enjoyed this

i enjoyed this read.


...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."

"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "


jessie2376's picture

So many of your poems are

So many of your poems are like enigmas wrapped in mazes...i took this poem to be about abortion with the line "replacement organ where u bleed and have none". I enjoy the ambiguity your poems possess, but would love for u to lose some imagery and

Replace it with some reality. Readers don't always want to try to figure out what ur words are about. You have such talent, but dont overabuse it....dont make us think so hard with your words. Just my humble opinion. 

Affirmation's picture

I tend to do both, though I

I tend to do both, though I try to portray emotions at times using the imagery... to give a bit of insight and "reality", replacement organ was about pretending to care and have a heart, when truly they were cold, inaffectionate, self serving in hindsight... A lot of my poems are "journals" which is why I sometimes protect myself behind the imagery and metaphors... because being honest to a reader is perhaps being too honest to myself, and those involved, and sometimes I write when the "wound" is still fresh... "The Hour We Knew" is that moment you realise... it's over... we're not working. No going back. But being pushed into that position instead of being honest about it... "Dead Aim, On Target" hope this helps you understand. And thank you for the kind words :)

jessie2376's picture

I totally get what ypur

I totally get what ypur saying about sometimes the wound is still too fresh, but isnt that when our work is the best? Dont get me wrong i love your pieces but would love for you to just give it to us straight in the future. Dont hide behind your words, embarce the rawness of saying exaclty what mean sometimes. Itay cathartic. Feel free to read and critique any of my work...i love constructive criticism. How else can we grow as writers...ya know? 

nightlight1220's picture

That makes sense, because 'in

That makes sense, because 'in that moment' people tend to take advantage, misunderstand things, and bottom line is the old saying 'no one knows what goes on behind closed doors', so the best thing for yourself that you can do at that time is to share with true friends or just contemplate on your own if you have to. yes...I totally get that.



...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."

"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "


Affirmation's picture

I'm glad it resonates even

I'm glad it resonates even with the "reality..." It's hard to be quite so honest in such a vulnerable position. Thanks for the comment!