# #life #suffering #sadness #pain

I act

I act tough 

because I've been hurt by life

I act hard

because it's the only way to survive

I act strong

because being weak destroyed me

I act numb

because feeling is a drug

once you start, it's hard to stop

I act invincible 

because my heart has already been broken

I act happy

because I can' t let them see my pain

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Verse 1:
I know that

This may be crude or rude

But I'm scared of mixing up

The truth with you.


To be with each other,

Run home so that I,

I can see what I left behind

I know what I turned down those times


Verse 2:
But you said: "Run away

To find each other

Never look back

Never look at the past


Then you said:
"In a while,

Will be our fulfilment,

Fulfilment of our prayers"


If I knew then what I'd know now,

I'd have found my way back to you.

But, since then, I haven't loked back.

Since I've found you,

Everything has changed.

Now, I believe in something

Once more again.


Verse 3:
Love found me here

Until you take me on,

Babe, I'lll take a bullet for you.

But since you found me,

Everything has changed.

I believe in love

Once more again.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Song I wrote back in 2014. I wrote 50+ songs in 2014 that I haven't posted half of these yet. The meaning is self-expalanatory, I believe.

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"This Regret Of Miscommunication"

Alana Cheng

"This Regret Of Miscommunication"

Written by Alana Cheng



Coming back with the latest of how there would only come from the heart of how I could never seem to think up a lot of the plans to move on forward with everything of all the opinions of how I can move forward in my own way by now in the minutes that have come with everything that happens with the belief of a very good reason that still remains unknown in my heart of the miscommunication to leave me in tears from the inside of the ones that I have cried over a million times from how there wouldn't seem to be of anything all to how there would ever have been of something without the intake of regret to how there was never really anything all the more to remember everything of all the good things as to how there was something so wonderful about every little thing to how I couldn't comprehend at the time, but only for a short minute of everything that I've gone to great lengths of reaching out for something as good as this forever from the very beginning to search for the meaning of something that is still the belief of something so good and bold in the beauty of how there was ever really anything out there to how there would be the sadness of heartache of this hardship that I have inflicted upon myself to leave you behind in letting me walk away just like this and for you to let me slip away is just the very thing that destroys me to the very core of my heart and soul, as with everything that you are taking with you of this miscommunication of letting out all of your anger towards me for which is understandable on your part as I have never been so good about how I've reacted in the first place, but the loss of you to walk out and to let me slip through the cracks so mercilessly is just the icing on the cake for the months of all the weeks that I have spent alone in the silence of the tears that won't seem to fall on the outside, but from the inside, I am flooded with every mixture of emotions that won't seem to quite for as long as I am living and breathing in every part of my own doing to the sadness of all that was ever wrong to begin with from here, as I have never really stood on such solid ground in going from shift to shift with everything that I have never truly painted such a good picture of from the start.

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Alana Cheng



Written by Alana Cheng


A blackout of the abstraction to no conclusion of where you have traveled within the aspects to what you are letting there be of the speed of time, without the failures in life of a blackout to my soul of shutting off every bit of happiness that would come with a consequence just for simply being excited or basically happy, that would never seem to add up to any success of what you take so lightly by the seems of this scenario of intense consequences to how you had ever let it go too far without everything else that would be to no avail to how you are letting it go way too soon out into the space of the universe to what you're not seeing with how there would ever have really been of everything else that would be to your disposal of anything of the blackout of all the more without the touch of how there is no introduction needed to the proper amount of love and respect to how there would really, really be of how you are partaking in the sense of mind to travel away from your own reality for just a while to take part of the fantasy world that you have created for yourself without the fail of how there would be absolutely everything else that you let go of with something all the more without everything that you have made to be of anything else that is all the more with what you have done for how there could ever have really been to the labeling of words that you have put together so well with every part to how or what you can think of without anything else all the more with nothing and everything all at once by how you could ever have really wanted in the scenario of letting things go way too quickly by how you could ever have really wanted in the sparkling of such clouds of the sun to be blocked away in the blackout of everything else that goes too far with what you are saying without a sound to be heard from these open ears of an open mind that lets you know of the blackout of intensities to how I could only bear so much of what you are talking about to be inflicted upon my heart and soul of all the words that are hitting me like a ton of bricks to kill me bit by bit of how there would be anything else to cushion the blow with the shattering of all the windows in my heart and soul to how there would be no one or nothing to there to save me from falling all the way down so mercilessly by the blackout of your words that are shutting me down all the more with each word that comes to me upon the infliction of intense friction to break me in two forever and ever upon the heaping of this humiliation of hellish existence to this state of being of having to have always been looking for a way to jump right out and off the tracks of an oncoming and ongoing blow of a horrendously tragic blackout.



Alana Cheng

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Helmeted Version

Satish Verma

Will the shouts work 
on blood seeds in climate of conflicts? 
Winter was shrinking. 

Give me a hand. 
I am going to invite clouds softly. 
Let the drumming start. 

War has broken out 
on many fronts 
for a god, for the grains 

and for the golden gates. 
Where shall we plant 
the sacred tulsi? 

You need a holy soil for that. 
The transliteration of a famished lake 
throws a foul smell. 

Will you be able to walk 
on the ice again? 
Outside the climate of change? 

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Footprints In Dark

Satish Verma

Diplomacy of inconstancy 
unmeets the urgency. Aura 
of brilliance was falling in your feet. 

After the death, it was not a name, 
only a frozen body.We moved backward 
swiftly, to find out the footprints in dark. 

Winter was becoming harsh and 
less meaningful. A weak muscle brokers 
a peace for dewdrops on rose petals. 

I become an earlier story, failed. 
Pick up the moon rocks 
and start throwing them at sun. 

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O Love

Satish Verma

You tend to ostracize the apparition 
setting the real culprit free. It does not matter 
to pretend now, a damaged house 
has become a burden. 

Who was playing the enmity card? 
Hammered, eyes wide open I start documenting 
the deceit of a parrot flower. Your past 
had become the shackles, not the road map 
of family. 

An enormous hate was buried in your trees. 
O death-trap, the bees will not come to your 
flowers. Your gifts are lying around me 
unattended. I will ask no more any pardon. 

The moon has walked away. My sky 
was unanswerable. The theater will play 
another star-crossed brand names. 

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Longest Eclipse

Satish Verma

falling in dust, 
searching the dead truths 
on pills of abandoned bodies of lies. 

The dawn brings out 
the trapped victims of transmigration 
from capricum to capricon. 
Then they commit a mass suicide 

around hymns to seduce the 
god with thousand smiles. 
A flock of memories lands on the grey 
body of moon for the last rites. 

One by one they walk away, 
the ironic actors of secular wake, 
asking for forgiveness from abyss, 
gazing at the eclipsed sun for the last time.

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After The Storm

Satish Verma

Unfettered for a little while, I was 
catching the sleep visitor. It hurts 
when the dream ends and a poem starts. 
An eucalyptus, drinking lots of water, throwing the aroma 
incensing the air, I pick up the fallen seeds of light 
in winter solstice, befriending the home traumas. 

Fireflies leave the scorched marks of daydreaming. 
I talk to moon for sometime and leave my address 
with him. Tomorrow he will come to inherit the 
pain. I wanted a sunless garden to commit 
the sin of forgetting you. The night will find 
me undying till eternity. 

In my words I carry the charred remains 
of time which smells the hunger of tomorrow. 

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