Einen Augenblick bitte!

Kierkegaard famously once said that "Life must be understood backwards; but... it must be lived forward"

So as I continue to wander blindly forward into the unknown with the faint hope that I will understand it all in the end, I feel the need to take a sobering moment to pause and reflect on my footprints in the sand.


'Einen Augenblick' was all that I needed to notice that the moment of clarity I had whilst lying in rehab has all but lost its polish.

The signposts removed, my compass caught in a strong magnetic field, my coordinates intelligible.

That profound clarity I once had now lost as I once again face life blind, stumbling amongst the mess, the fuss and the chaos, on my hands and knees searching for the crumbs..

Or, of course it could just be the PTSD talking...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

After my near death experience in the form of a MVA I had, what I thought was a moment of clarity regarding my purpose in life. 

However after recently losing one of my precious fur children and support animal(s) I have spiralled downwards into a pit of grief and loss. 

"Notes on Kierkegaard's Acumen"

by Jeph Johnson


it is an art to recollect
call to mind what was perfect...
recall to memory your name,
cinematic, frame by frame...
commit to celluloid your face;
with eyes so wide they capture space.
fancy music in the sounds
of cherubic, heaven-bound
angels Michaelangelo
might depict if he could know
the way your life became the art
I'd imitate if I could start
back up this life, when was destroyed
the artistic license we enjoyed.
shutters close and cameras click
in my mind while I reminisce
of chiselled, nude anatomy
now marble-cold in fantasy.
despite tears falling from wet eyes
my masterpiece has finally dried
and been cloaked 'neath the ideal
exhibition of surreal
paintings that I'll never own
save for in my thoughts alone.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

circa 2001 


"It is an art to recollect"

~Soren Kierkegaard, 1845

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