manipulation

I hate you

 

I hate the way your so damn sweet, just to manipulate me.
 

I hate the lies you told me, just to get me not to leave.

 
I hate that you are always right, i fight you tooth and nail.
 
its just because I am afraid, I just dont want to fail.
 
I hate the way you lured me in, all with false pretense,
 
I hate the fact I fell for you, I should have had some sense.
 
The way you touch me makes me quiver, i wish you felt the same.
 
But you dont, its not your fault, I am the one to blame.
 
The goodness faded quickly, but the scars will never go,
 
I just hope next time I do not leap before I know.

 

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the massage

....

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hvXL-YLRq60

(right click and open in new tab)

 

...................

 

 

lying prone, face lying in the pillowy softness

of satin, I hear music, and the sounds of nature,

the smell of sandalwood amber and another essential oil

filling my nostrils, carrying healing essences 

whisking through neural pathways, triggering transmissions,

i inhale a deep breath, and hear the sound of the oil,

a swishing together of hands, reminding me of my last alpha journey,

into the space where nirvana calls and awaits my presence,

past the noise, far away from the hustle and bustle of my everyday life,

a place of feather-light suspension that melts the weight of earth,

gravity ceases to exist in my awareness,

and the energy from your hands glides upon the posterior of my shoulders,

then by back and torso, kneading away the stress and tensions

that hold me to the earthen existence,

i drift farthur and farthur away, and the music, the scents of the oil,

and the touch of your hands transform my very life 

into a more liquid state, and i float surrounded in a cloud of numbness,

the only connection is that to the inspiration and exhalation 

of each breath, deeper, deeper, and deeper....every part of my skeleton

feels purged of debris and renewed,

a feeling of utter sanctification overwhelms my senses,

i open my eyes and remember where i am, 

 awakening refreshed, as if returning from a long vacation,

..the sound of wind chimes outside your door is a gentle hello and welcome home.

 

©

 

 

.............................

 

 

12:37 AM 7/12/2013

Author's Notes/Comments: 

what a massage does

i neglected to write the part where i drool onto the table from utter helplessness--i think i'm going for another one soon..lol

Drama Quench

Drama queens
go drown your self in your cubic zirconia tears
Wipe the masquascarred eyes

blood shot with envy
Pick up the pieces of your troubled childlike mind
And get yourself a life that's not in drama defined
By cloaking and soaking in fickle dramas devised
Twist your own mutilated manipulative wasteland heart
Till it bleeds remorse from your desperate soul's art
No, not the ones on your Jimmy Choos you stupid wretched slight
Wraithlike guant let thin woven in and out the troubled highlight
Scheme you little wretch scheme your lonely coniving smite
What ever is smitten is never bitten but you can't help but bite
Go drown yourself you stupid, lonely, angry bitch wake up and see the truth
You think your shit don't stink and you call the shots
Blurbing your crap like its something hot, don't come to me bitch I'm not lost.
Go find yourself and do something real I'm quenched of your shit.
Go drama queen, drown in your plastic fears,
How many times can you return after being told to fuck off.
Cheers.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

You know the kind I'm not kind of fond of or kind to.

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ContraControl

Folder: 
Dark stuff

The unknowing...

 

smooth warm skin slaps hard upon my vanity,
welting rosebuds seeking your exalting lusty satifaction,
Your tender eyes cut through me in despise,
Your tantelising lips speak poison in my name,
Your generous smile smirks with stingy malice,

And me the unknowing...

 

Your comforting grip digs deep into my flesh,
Your tilted head and husky laugh ridicules me,
Your looming closeness rears the hairs on my skin,
My stillness in your force upon raise the serpent,
Contra hated is the lack of control,
The unknowing guess...

 

My unspoken suggesting the slightest chance.
Pressed into heat that scorns the desires source,
nonsubmission holds you hostage to my game.
The twist has come, in that, I take my pleasure!
The knowing...

 

You took a chance in an unguarded moment
you chose your retreat in making advances.
Now as rosebuds all things owed are unbestowed
I'll keep the sting and the one thats owed-
and with it I keep your control,
And you the knowing...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Sometimes there is more power in calculated inaction. The beautiful enless game...

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