The Hope and despair In a Fighter

Where are those day I once cherished so?

Those happy days I knew won’t last

I was ecstatic and ready for that day

Seems as if they are distant and painful now

Those happy memories of my teenage years I yearn to live again with zeal

Is it just nostalgia I feel or fear for the unknown?

Still a teen but how old I feel

Bitter tears misunderstood afraid to say what I really feel

Anger to be born before a cure, alas only treatment but it’s never sure

To live again and really fly and not be afraid to die

Living my life again but stuck in time

Life to only be relived in my mind

The mind plays tricks and makes me feel

I shall prevail and triumph as long as there is will!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem describing the despair and musing when one is hit with illness and eventually hope will prevail

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How A Day Changes

It started out a nice day
Warm, sunny and bright
But then something happened
That turned the day into night.
The tests are done and over
And all the results are in
Now I only have to wait
To see if I lose or win.
I'm sure it won't be long now
Before the answers are heard
It's just a matter of time
Before I'm given the word.
He's coming into my room
In his smock so snowy white
Will this bright, sunny day
Become a dark, dreary night?
I could see it in his face
He had no reason to speak
I just prayed that when he did
I'd be strong instead of weak.
"You have got canaer", he said
"It's not good, it's stage four"
"I'll leave you alone for now"
Then turned and went out the door.
An awful thing this cancer
It takes your strength and might
And as much as you want to
You've got no power to fight.
Yes, my day did turn to night
My greatest fears came true
How much time do I have left
Before my life is through?
Will I have time to do things
Before I reach my last day?
Or will the good Lord above
Want to take me right away?
What about my family?
How will they get on in life?
Will my children be OK?
What will happen to my Wife?
I'll fight to the very end
Hang on as long as I can
I won't give up that easy
To the end I'll be a man.
It's going to be real hard
But I will fight all the way
To turn this dark, dreary night
Back to a bright, sunny day.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this shortly after I was told that I have cancer. I'm still fighting.

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Stanley and Dad

Ever since Dad got leukemia, his brother has been by his side.
Stanley is a good brother, that's something that can't be denied.
Stanley is Dad's only sibling, he has no other.
Dad is very lucky to have him for a brother.
Stanley takes Dad to the doctor and even mows his lawn.
If Stanley didn't help my dad, he would be gone.
I would take Dad to the doctor but I'm unable to drive.
Because of Stanley's efforts, Dad is still alive.
Stanley is a caring person, that is a fact.
And that's a statement that I won't retract.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to Stanley Johnson, my uncle.

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Today my dad turned sixty-five.
He's very ill but he's still alive.
He was diagnosed with leukemia in 2011.
He was born on this day back in 1947.

Even though he's sick, he's holding his own.
He has the comfort of knowing that he's not alone.
He has to have chemotherapy to survive.
On this day my dad turned sixty-five.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to Charles Johnson, my Dad.

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I Saw You

I saw you in our school, my dear,
No one aware of what was near,
Days were days, not precious time,
Everything was still alright.

I saw you in your house, my dear,
It was just the flu, I hear,
Not even the doctor was aware,
That you were not alright.

I saw you in the hospital, my dear,
So pale, and frail, it brought me tears,
Your hair was gone but not the pain,
And I knew nothing was alright.

I saw you in my prayers, my dear,
I prayed and prayed and hoped He'd hear,
Yet I still watched you slowly fall apart.
And I knew you wouldn't be alright.

I saw you in death's door, my dear,
You whispered "I love you" in my ear.
I broke down as I watched you slip away,
And I didn't think I'd ever be alright.

I saw you in the casket, my dear,
I cried and couldn't stop my tears,
I watched them place you in the ground.
I knew I'd never be alright.

I saw you in my thoughts, my dear,
It killed me knowing you weren't here.
My heart cried out in misery,
And I swore I'd never be alright.

But then I saw you in my dreams, my dear,
You held me tight and wiped my tears,
You kissed me softly on the cheek.
You said I'd be alright.
Now I know I'll be alright.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is to all the people who have lost someone they love to cancer or illness. I know it's tough to lose someone, but just know that every storm has it's sunshine in the end. Hang in there and surround yourself with people who care. <3

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We Will Miss You

It'll hurt to watch you go and it'll hurt to let you leave but  know you'r in much pain. Tears will shed and days will pass and holidays wont be the same without you but know that we will love you forever and we will never forget you... You will be in a better place soon with god and he will take care of you. So dont be scared and know that we cared and that we still and always will    

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Uncle John We Will Miss You

You have bin suffering for a year now... And you say you'r ready to let go... But we aren't ready... See we don't realize how selfish we are being when we say please don't leave though... When we say that we are just thinking about how much we will miss you not how much you are hurting right now... I am here to say we love you and don't want you to go but when you say it's time then it's time... When you'r ready to go we will cry and shout... But we will also know you'r in a better place and you are not hurting now... We will miss you but always will love you... I love you but your in to much pain i guess it's time to say good bye... one last time I will say I love you.

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The Unseen Enemy

The sun is shining bright and a warm glow is felt

But yet I'm cold inside as the tears fall down

I feel betrayed and trust has been broken

Time has stood still as the sands from the hourglass keep falling

I am torn between this life I live and death

Every moment is a gift that can't be exchanged or traded

This cloud hangs over me like mistletoe

There are no happy endings

New chapters of my life are created with the stories yet unknown

The ending has yet been written, but the forecast is all too well known

My wish is for happiness and love for me and my children

Staying strong for them to grow into adults I will be proud of no matter what

For now, I have won the fight against my unseen enemy

CANCER. A powerful word

The score is settled

ME-1   Cancer-0

What will the future hold??

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Lupus, Let Me Be!


I'm tired of your intrusions,

Upon my life.

All you give me is pain,

And constant strife!

What is your motive,

For being so cruel?

Why do you mock me,

And make me your fool?

You've taken so much,

You never let up at all.

You take such pleasure,

In watching me crawl!

You're sadistic and twisted,

Like a demon from hell.

You won't let me have peace,

Or let me feel well!

What will it take,

To send you off and away?

Must I sell you my soul,

For just one pain-free day?

Where is your mercy?

Or have you not any?

Have you never enough victims?

You've affected so many!

Damn your invasion,

Of every part of me!

Just please go away-

Lupus, let me be!

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