PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

A clever short: With, to me, a lot of underlying meaning. Such economic limits can leave one running, in overdrive for survival. I can offer witness, having experienced been stretched quite thin over a several year span, that it's amazing what a person can start to miss - including about the seasons - when lacking time to stop and even absorb the changing colors of the leaves.    I do fear this is becoming more relatable by the moment. Needed words. 

A lot of good, rhythmic flow: A lot of good, rhythmic flow in this poem. Particularly in the first six lines.   One friendly suggestion, if you would consider:   If you alter "See, you have been thinking about me too, true / A smile on my face / Maybe see, you miss my sweet embrace" into "See, you have been thinking about me, too, / True - A smile on my face / Maybe see, you miss my sweet embrace", that could really build on the rhythmic effect you've created through the previous lines, while still creating the fresh shift and alteration that you laid out in the final 3 lines.    

Being capable of something: Being capable of something real, however small is still part of a greater whole. There is real hope when we hope together.

Thank you so much for that: Thank you so much for that comment.  I only just recently found the translations of Red Pine, and I must admit to an embarrassing lack of familiarity with Chinese Poetry.  But I do love his beautiful translations which I read online.  Decades ago, during my second and third years at college, I took two courses on East Asian history; which focused on China, primarily.  Although I did poorly, C minus in both, I am glad to have some exposure to that culture.  Thanks again for the comment.

One of your most ambitious: One of your most ambitious projects because the wordscaping would have to be consistent with the breathtaking prowess and lofty vision of Taoist adepts spanning over two thousand years. What a high bar Red Pine set for you to scale!   But you, not being one to shy away from a challenge, reached high and fashioned a tribute to the translator in a voice that parallels the ancient refined diction he made accessible to modern readers.   Only a pro could pull it off. A picturesque and fine-tailored nod to a great scholar and translator.    

This is a very eerie tale of: This is a very eerie tale of vengeance.

Thank you for the reply, and: Thank you for the reply, and for the information about the relics found at Red House.  I do appreciate your willingness to follow up.  As for Sarban, I began with his collection of short stories, Ringstones.  The tale in that collection to start with is called "A Christmas Story."  It happens to be online as well, and I am sending you the link by PM.  Then I would recommend Sarban's alternate history novella, The Sound Of His Horn---which depicts a corner of the Third Reich, a century or so after Adolf Hitler.