Woke Up From A Dream

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5:36 am ... again.
The faint honey-lemon like impression
you are all to familiar,
I remember you.
Almost every night you are mine
The world seems right
Until 5:36 am... when you depart,
with love, with my heart.
Fading... again.

I struggle to find meaning,
each time, each dream
I smile because to feel you once more
was to be in reciept of a miracle
even if only dreaming.
I sometimes wonder do I?
Are you laying in bed,
at 5:36 am?...
I doubt it,
the final fleeting images evaporate
at 5:38 am, another day.

SSmoothie's picture

Yeah I've been there too!

Yeah I've been there too! Great write . Certainly felt your loss and anguish. Hugss


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

WhatIAmOrWillBe's picture

Thanks SS...

Believe me, I wish, often, that I had another pool of inspiration in which to draw my motivation to create from. I am often very, very tired of feeling down, and writing so dark, and negative but, depression is like that I guess. You want to squeeze shut your sorrowful eyes, to open them new and bright and able to see the lighter side of living again because you know it's there,... Somewhere. You think you remember what it might have felt and looked like, to be,... in the least... content. You haven't been this way your whole life..? Or,.. have you? It is not an easy thing, overcoming something that cannot be nailed down, or forgotten as it is inside of you. And, inside is a place that few ever truly know how to get to. But, I do not give up, or, too much anyway. I write, I paint, I watch my son and breathe in all his wonderful presence to remind myself that the world isn't how I often believe it to be, but only what I choose to see. I try to turn this sickness that has roots so deep inside of me and use it as a sort of muse. To maybe connect to others that suffer, to touch hearts that long for the confirmation that they are not alone. That I'm here too.

Sorry, for the speech. LOL.

Having a very introspective morning I guess. Plus, I know that you will take the time to read my post, which also is a huge help. I say thank you. Thank you for doing what you do.


jrfehlmann

SSmoothie's picture

Oh my dear certainly been

Oh my dear certainly been there. And always feel the breath of it on my coat tails!! But I refuse to paint ugly pictures anymore. Bad things happen because people are weak. Resilience is a choice. Having a Choice is being in control. Not having one means you waiting for something that never comes, help that works once and for all. The wake up call comes too late for many, I'd rather leave the battle lost and win the war. I don't want to be another example of why the devil wins, I want be an example of why God is so great. It's not about hope it's about the strength you gain every day you survive, look back and count up the days, how many have you wasted in the dark? How many more do you have to find the new joy out there? What ever you miss now, believe me you will find again in another realm, but you must go through and find all life's joy, or you will have to come back and do it again... Which, I don't mind but now that I let the troubles fall I can do so much I work hard and others expectations get to me, but. Then I remember there's always a new kind of life waiting, I just have to have the courage to take it remembering that it can't be too much worse than it already is, and it always gets worse before it gets better. Hugss thank you for sharing your pain, it is true you are not alone, and it does help others immensely. Have a great time sincerely SS


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am