In a Japanese Countryside

Snow Capped Mountain/Mt. Fuji (credit:  K K,

In a Japanese Countryside






I'm in a Japanese




but with whom?




Quiet community,
revived Western humanity,



that even Mt. Fuji is


That even the train cars on

metal rails in train stations

are silently drifting, giving

way for us—sleeping




in our modest households.







 Mt. Fuji, Japan (credit: Liger Pham,

S74rw4rd's picture

This poem has a very quiet

This poem has a very quiet tone, which is both beautiful and soothing.


tula's picture

Thank you for reading my poem, sir.

Thank you for reading my poem, sir.  (Once again, I appreciate feedbacks that are as honest as the criticisms that you give.)


I, sometimes, have not found out how to express something while in the spur of the moment.  Therefore, I try out any style in which to express something (e.g., how I sometimes dream of other cultures out of a deep curiosity about their own peaceable nature or enchanting environs—but in a free verse form).  I was just hoping to contain whatever essence I must have in between these lines & somehow relay those abstract ideas to my readers—although, admittedly, sometimes these might seem forcible or constrained or, worse, affected (which I'm afraid most of my posts are).



Besides, I'm doing this mostly on the fly (around these times when I probably just got home, or while in transit & post-shift, ..and then, sometimes, something hits me or suddenly occurs to me.)


Maybe, I am still exploring the art of poetry itself and whenever I am broaching a particular topic or subtopic (or other correlatives); I myself could not pass judgement on anybody's style or way of making poems, to know as a matter of fact (i.e. aesthetics) what truly makes a beautiful poetic expression.  But your comment is one that is sure to be remembered.  Its importance noted.  (Got to go, now.  Have a good one.)

S74rw4rd's picture

Thanks for the reply, but I

Thanks for the reply, but I respectfully disagree with your thought that your posts are affected.  I read a couple of your other poems and did not find them affected. or forced or constrained, at all.  


tula's picture

Thank you,...

Much appreciated, sir.  By that token of just having written/entered something/keyed in something, whether it is a rhymed poem or in a free verse form, a prose poetry or even an experimental one..this self-criticism perhaps might also be viewed as self-deprecation.  Being a person who comes from a different culture, I sometimes do categorize my own works in comparison with the way other cultures may be doing something of the sorts, as well.  And the way language may flow out from myself, as a non-native English speaker, and at least trying hard to conform to many standards/rules, these are just some of such criteria that I'd used upon judging my own work.  Please pardon me, as I was becoming more truthful or in a way being fatally honest..just to not call myself intellectually dishonest (at some point).  And, as an aficionado of other cultures, I do study Japanese language standards as well.. (these flitting perspectives & approaches) could somehow give one an idea of why experimenters with language itself could prove to be relatively producing many outcomes or sometimes entanglements (that should explain many language barriers and miswordings for most whom I believe experiencing just the results in their conflict, through their interactions).  Until then. (I needed to get back to work soon; I apologize for sometimes I may not respond as expected.)  I thank you/sumimasen.