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Final Stage
Disgust, anger, fear, denial, reason, acceptance, denial, acceptance, effort, total acceptance, disappointment, release, rebuilding.
My love for myself must far exceeded all the misguided love I put in you.
You were my happy space, my blue sky, my lover, and my confidant.
But I wasn't your jack of all trades in love.
For so long you were more important than me, to me.
Then you hit the eject button on our roller coaster of love.
To my rose colored glasses just as we were getting to another straight.
In front of me, a hard, I meaneed diamond to safety scissors hard place.
Behind me, the rock that held Excalibur.
I had my hands prime to free that sword for so long...
Little did I know it would soon become the weapon lodged deep into my heart.
My king of a broken kingdom...How fitting is that title?
I thought I failed my son by allowing his vision of a 2 parent filled home to be snatched away. Should have tried harder but that takes two to tango.
Little did I know I was filling his eyes with deception and terrible renditions of a happy home.
All bad? No not at all.
No scars or abuse, as it would seem we just forced a round peg in a square hole at the wrong time stamp.
Trips down memory lane? Sorry we don't go that route anymore.
You made it look so easy, and that ease killed me even more.
If I am ever to rebuild this dynasty it must be on new ground.
The foundation we once had turned into a sinkhole the size of the Grand Canyon.
We constantly defend ourselves against the other until we ended up on the attack without conscience effort.
No fears my heart is trying to get the grand opening sign back up and lit.
My mind wants to believe in a world that wouldn't just make me view love from a cage.
No desperation here I can and will wait on my King!
Until then I will clean my castle and fine tune my Queenly charm, so that it is ready to greet him royally upon his arrival.
