Copyright 11/14/00
When you said goodbye to my wife,
We didn't realize it to be the last in this life.
If we had only known, we wouldn't let you go,
But onto you we would hold.
We understand the demons you fought every day,
As you tried and tried to make them go away.
This war within, must have been a terrible drain
On both you and your friends who could only watch the pain.
We all tried to give emotional support,
But for peace, with God you must have rapport.
Like Job who suffered so many years
Lost sons, family, and peers.
Job hung on, and God gave him a reward,
With all he lost it was restored and more.
But you ran the race and gave in
And took your life which is a sin.
All the good works and lives you touched,
Gone, cause you choked in the clutch.
All those pulling for you were slapped in the face,
Because you didn't finish, but gave up the race.
You left us to mourn at your loss,
Knowing when you gave up your life,
you gave up the cross.
Your right to choose stops with your life,
That belongs to God and to take it you have no right.
To take your presense from family and friends,
Cheats them of love for you to tend.
We know the voice made you play the game,
Leading you the the brink and back again.
Jerking you around like a puppet on a string
They made you think this was your thing.
Kill yourself they would say
It will end the pain this day.
The voice of satan is convincing it is true
Making lies seem really logical to you.
"You have run a good race your throne is assured,
Go ahead and end it now, your soul is pure."
You listened to the lies and now it is too late
And you will spend eternity in Hades.
When in life, the voices tortured thee
In death they will for eternity.
This makes us really sad,
Cause in your body, no bone was bad,
Except your ankle that kept giving way
Normally while you were at play.
But now you are gone forever more
A tortured soul at Hades door.
No more sun on your face
As you decend to that Hellish place.
I wish you had been strong enough
To tell the voices no more games.
You just weren't mentally tough
To stand the pain.
Now it is over
You are feeding the worms
And pushing up clover.
Goodbye, my friend, my sorrow so deep.
I will pray for mercy on your endless sleep.
You will be missed by so many hearts
All that you have been a part.
Forgive her oh lord I know her pain
She fought so hard, but in vain.
Give her rest before she goes
To that final place we all know.
I know she failed, but she deserves at least that
For the torture she bore beneath her hat.
The demons never gave her rest,
Was she ever meant to pass the test?
What she did was not right
But the peace of that long night
Was too much temptation for her sick mind
Forgiveness in your heart oh lord, I hope you find.
Comfort us, oh lord, in our dispair
And let our friend join you there.
Forgive her this one sin.
We know it was a big one, but please let her in.
She gave so much,
There was nothing left.
Her soul please touch
With eternal life a fitting gift.
Once more I say my goodbyes,
Crocodile tears welling in my eyes.
I walk away with your friends
Mourning your loss will never end.
This is an amazing piece of work. It made me cry, the first poem I have read on this site that has made me do that. I cried for your friend, as I know her pain so well, and I cried for you, as I know what my parents have been thru at times when I have attempted suicide and very nearly lost my life a few times because of it.
Good news is that I am now happier than I've EVER been, maybe part of that is due to my current hypomania (I am manic depressive), but so long as I am happy then I am grateful - I have suffered so much mental pain and despair in my life I feel I deserve the right to be so ecstatically happy as I am at the moment.
Peace to you and your friend, who I hope is feeling better now.
'leesh, the sweet algolagniac x
PS. I intend to now go on to read 'Where Did She Go'.
Hi Ferril :)I like this one, it protrays the anger that's left behind after a suicide, You always express yourself so well.
What a hard thing to explain...it's always so final and usually soul soaking tragedy...very nice
People don't run out of dreams they just run out of time.
I read this piece first, before Where DId She Go?....i like them both, though this one possesses words of a mightier strength, and of a disappointment and pain that's much more prevalent...U felt really angry and sad , didnt u? It showed.. I hope your friend is better now...and so are u. Ps: Just got a point to clarify....If your friend is a lady...then how did she get a wife??as stated in the first 2 lines of this poem? Smilesz...jus something i am wondering now.