Perplexing Love Life


At one time I was known as Aphrodite
Among other things
And I was a very good goddess,
If I do say so myself

I dated this one
All the while
I set myself on chasing
That one

And this was quite all right to me
Or I thought so
You can read back in my poems
And see a broken woman

All across the lines
I said that I found love
Then about six poems later
I hated that guy

And this was my life
All the way up until
The accident that seriously
Changed my life

I was all set on having one man
Get married, have kids, grow old
But all the while I am realizing,
I am still Aphrodite, in different form

I still have guys chasing me
But I do not use ‘love’ lightly
Not like I used to
That will not happen again

So when I told Brian I loved him
At that time I really meant it
But then he turned around and hurt me
Lost his Internet connection

And now we are at
Six months, half a fricken year
With no attempt at contact
So I said to hell with him

And moved on to the next guy
Scott was his name
We are still together
But now I am in a predicament

I find myself falling for another
One that I am sure dad doesn’t approve of
And now this is very perplexing
Because the one I’m with I know

Dad will love when he meets him
But the other one I am not so sure of
His looks, and our history
I highly doubt dad will approve of

But I am realizing that I’m thinking
About him every second of every day
He’s so sweet and considerate to me,
That in and of itself, means so much to me

I don’t know what I am to do
I know who I was, and who I still seem to be
This splits my head in two, till I have a headache
From trying to figure it all out

Sleep on it they all say,
Well I have, it don’t work
Because it has been a week
With no signs of figuring it out

Let it all go, and go with it,
Yeah that sounds good
If I knew one or the other
Would do the same thing

Well, not really, if they would
Just put it out there,
Wear they’re heart on there sleeve
And come out and say it

One has, but he can’t go through
With his feelings and come to me
The other one, I know what he feels
But he can’t say it, so what do I do?

Just wait for one or the other
To come and say, face to face
What he feels for me
That sounds fine but,

What am I to do in the mean time?
Leave little signs for the both of them
And see what they will do
That’s what I will do

Written on
September 4, 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one was written about Scott and another I wont name. Not now. It was written about my confusion between the two men. Mind you, this was/is the longest poem I have written to date. If that tells of my confusion. =)

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palewingedpoetess's picture

I think you should legally change your name from Aphrodite to...

Ms. Fickle....... laughs. I enjoyed your poem. The words Peyton Place kept flashing through my mind as I read or maybe the lives and loves of a perpetually seeking Aphrodite.......... Seriously though, you need to find your Orion and let the Scots, Brians and Mr. Wrongs of this world go. I hope writing this poem helped you. The me of say 20 something could relate to this. It sounds like you have not learned just who you are yet. Why not take a hiatus and just choose to see yourself and learn who you are, what you are about, what makes you happy and what kind of man you wouldn't want. When one starts falling for one while still not so certain about another it seems there is a lot of unfinished business and overlapping that can cause all sorts of problems in the heart and thoughts. Is like trudging through a stream then trying to clear the water so you can get a drink. Damn near impossible to do. Take a chance on you and take a breather from men and really look inside you without all that distraction. I think you'd be mighty surprised at what all you would learn about yourself then your next venture out on the men chasing you trail would be a much more worthwhile experience and a whole lot less confusion too. My money is on you discovering the best find in the next three counties is the real Chrystal Daniels and not some new guy who merely treats you nice. Nice guys are a dime a dozen. Always remember we teach others how to treat us. So study up on how to better teach others how to treat you. I enjoyed your poem and yes it was a bit long but sometimes those less is more things just won't get the job done. You needed to work out some wrinkles in your fabric and that was the most important thing. Now, I'd love to read a poem about how your discovering and dating and getting to know yourself, without a pile of men at your feet, went. Write a poem after that suggested hiatus and that would be a poem I'd eagerly log on to read. Best of Luck to you my good woman. Sincerely, Melissa Lundeen.