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Dear Slumber,

Why do you play hard to get? Are you coy and shy? Or are you power-tripping on your ability to stay just beyond my grasp? The more I pursue you, the more elusive you become. You're such a flirtatious tease--flaunting and dangling your seductive wares with no intention of paying up. Just empty promises. A yawn here, a nod of the head there, but no real payoff. It's cruel--false advertisement is criminal. You've got me grinding my teeth in frustration--giving me just enough to make me realize there's something bigger just out of my reach--guaranteeing I'll keep coming back until I attain that nebulous "more". My eyes are burning. Tears streaming down my cheeks. The tension is unbearable. And yet, I can't be angry because I need you. You have unfair advantage because the entire world needs and wants you--and those who say they don't are lying to themselves. What's it like to be universally admired , desired, and required by 9 Billion people? However, for the moment, let's not worry about the other 8,999,999,999. I know I have to share you. I accept that. But tonight--in this moment--it's just about you and me, and right now all I know is that I can't see straight without you. Can't think straight without you. Don't wanna hafta go another day--not another minute--without you. It seems impossible to get enough of you. I'm dangerous and in pain from the lack of you. I don't wanna play games with you. I know some fight you--but that's not me. I'll take you whenever and wherever and however I can get you: be it day or night--bed, floor, car, in a roomful of people. I. DON'T. CARE. Can't you see that I'm desperate? I'm shamelessly begging. Praying. Please don't toy with me anymore. I'm too old for this. Is this payback for my youthful ignorance and indiscretion and immaturity when I thought I could get along without you? If so, then I swear, I'll never take you for granted again. "Mea Culpa." The guilt is mine, and all I can do now is beg "Tabula Rasa", a clean slate. It's not too late to start over. I'm not going anywhere. There's no substitute for you. I love you, and when you're ready, you know where to find me. Until then, I'll be. . .