sleepless nights

Dear Slumber (A Prose for Sleep)

Folder: 
Just Rambling

Dear Slumber,

Why do you play hard to get? Are you coy and shy? Or are you power-tripping on your ability to stay just beyond my grasp? The more I pursue you, the more elusive you become. You're such a flirtatious tease--flaunting and dangling your seductive wares with no intention of paying up. Just empty promises. A yawn here, a nod of the head there, but no real payoff. It's cruel--false advertisement is criminal. You've got me grinding my teeth in frustration--giving me just enough to make me realize there's something bigger just out of my reach--guaranteeing I'll keep coming back until I attain that nebulous "more". My eyes are burning. Tears streaming down my cheeks. The tension is unbearable. And yet, I can't be angry because I need you. You have unfair advanage because the entire world needs and wants you--and those who say they don't are lying to themselves. What's it like to be desired by 7 Billion people? However, for the moment, let's not worry about the other 6,999,999,999. I know I have to share you. I accept that. But tonight--it's just about you and me, and in this moment, all I know is that I can't see straight without you. Can't think straight without you. Don't wanna hafta go another day--not another minute--without you. It seems impossible to get enough of you. I'm dangerous and in pain from the lack of you. I don't wanna play games with you. I know some fight you--but that's not me. I'll take you whenever and wherever and however I can get you: be it day or night--bed, floor, car, in a roomful of people. I. DON'T. CARE. Can't you see that I'm desperate? I'm shamelessly begging. Praying. Please don't toy with me anymore. I'm too old for this. Is this payback for my youthful ignorance and indiscretion and immaturity when I thought I could get along without you? If so, then I swear, I'll never take you for granted again. I've learned my lesson. I'm waving the white flag. I'm not going anywhere. There's no substitute for you. I love you, and when you're ready, you know where to find me. Until then, I'll be. . .

Waiting,
Kyla

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this back in 2012 so I need to change that 7 billion to 8 billion.

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A Sleeping Insomniac

He thrashes around in his sleep now

Punching the wet pillow

Choking the cold blankets

Kicking the empty air

Yelling at only himself

 

Sometimes he shouts your name

With eyes shut

And ears deaf

However tears still flee

And his hands stick to his ears

 

Sometimes he holds his breath

He sleeps longer when he does

Fighting his urges to breathe

Waiting for something

Whether it be your arrival

Or his demise

 

Sometimes he clenches his wrist

Holding on tighter and tighter

Where the healed scars lay

Until they go back to normal

Until they go back to bloody

He remains unaware of the stinging pain

Until his dirty nails tap his vein

 

Sometimes he wakes

In the middle of the night

Yelling how his shoulder burns

Dying for it to stop

But to the touch its cold as ice

With a hint of dust

And it’s not both shoulders

Just the one you chose

To lie your sweaty hand upon

As you poisoned his dreams

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