exploration of my mind

My Mental Health Issues:


Searching to find out how to account for my unreasonable, chaotic, cycles of thought and resulting behaviour. Was to coin a phrase: "like looking for a needle in a hay stack". Until one day a man knocked at my front door and introduced himself as a psychiatric doctor.

Looking back my erratic behaviour was not all my fault; I had moved from Kenfig Hill to Pyle, and the neighbourghs of that local village; were at some pains, to point out to me I was not welcome ,because of my mental health issues. By taking most, if not every opportunity, to aim their annomosity e.g. verbal abuse, bullying, by leaving unrequired deposits of petrol and urine on the doorstep. Constant heckling, by advertising locally that the flat I lived in was a welcome haven for late night drinking; and with late night revellers constantly trying to break in. Throwing bricks and stones at me and the washing I put out on the line, the police particularly patiently informing me "they may have to respond to the telephone call I made for assistance", but there was nothing to be done about the situation".

One day whilst I was awaiting for a catalogue delivery: when there was a knock at the door, with a tall, thin, angular featured, bespectabled youth on the door step. This youth enquired if his mum could borrow some sugar I think he said. I replied I could not help him as I had no sugar and told him that he should leave.

With a manic scream he pulled a flick knife from his right sleeve, with ease caught and palmed the knife and flicked open the blade, and instantaeniously lunged at me with the knife, with full intent to take my life. As he lunged toward me I instinctively slammed the front door closed, blocking and preventing this youthfull attacker from successfully stabbing me.

There are numerous accounts of other attacks against my person; including the one who tried to run me over; with many witnesses observing this and who called me "a crazy intermittant"

This neighbourhoods bullying, intolerant ways reminded me of the turn of the last centuary's attitudes towards the mentally ill. Or even earlier recorded mistreatment of the mentality ill; by the rich and priveledged holding "tea parties", at which the mentally ill were forced to attend these "parties" and were quite serverly mistreated and also their mental afflictions made fun of and made into  offensive parlour games.The now out moded, and tortuous mistreatment of the mentally and criminaly mentally insane, has ceased in mental health organizations: however, continues in the maleviolent minds and deeds of many so call "neighbourghs" in our own localities. Who's minds I think should be included in some psychiatric assesments; of their complete and often violent intolerance of the metally ill.


Author's Notes/Comments: 



Some people this world can really do without, so it's safer for all of us.