#BreakUp #Relationships #Love

call it quits

If it cant stand let it fall, memories, stories take em all

 

So shut your mouth say no more, lets cut it now no farewell tour

 

The house built is now a shell, purgatory is worse than straight to hell

 

 Once its over my pain will subside, lets do it now please don’t hide

 

No anger in me just regret, can forgive but fuck forget  

 

You gave up long ago, lets sever the ties now let me go

 

If you see me walking in awhile, keep on going try not to smile  

 

 

I can feel a tear bout to drop, lets end it now time to stop 

 

too bad future is hard to see, cause you were such a drain on me 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

first poem i have ever written, haha promise 

Does it Count

does it count if it is

just a sigh or
just a breath of a new air
sickly sweet with the warm buzz of regret or
a nightmare disguised as a dream but 
you do not know it is something to fear until
you have been scared out of your own skin and
made to question the situation as
an outsider viewing a desperate film
does it make you look like the one who is  lost it and
is trying to desperately hold on to something that
deteriorated long before you knew it was tangible or
had the potential to be such or
was it arbitrary and done on a whim with
an excuse to not let yourself actually feel those
pangs of emptiness 
does it leave you with the taste of
pennies or even dimes because 
you know of the possible wealth the
possible accumulation of two beings but
you stop and let go because it is not an accumulation rather
a surge into a debt of your soul

I. Fight or Flight (1/1/14)

Folder: 
Poetry from 2014

 

Fight or Flight (1 January 2014)

by Elizabeth Van Cleve

 

First my brother died

Within three months

My dear mum joined him

 

I had little time

to grieve or heal

with more loss to come

 

‘Twas cold and snowing

When I came home

to that empty house

 

‘Twas even colder

that hard morning

when he said, Get out!

 

“You’re too much trouble,”

he yelled and screamed;

“Find a shelter now!”

 

Turns out, he meant it

in so few words

that he’d had enough

 

I needed more time

to talk things out

“Please stop and hear me.”

 

He couldn’t see me

He heard me not

Just repeated, “Out!”

 

I talked to someone

I spoke my pain

wishing that he cared

 

Leaving the doctor

I found voicemail

and three recent calls

 

“Return the car now!”

he threatened me,

“Or I’ll call the cops.”

 

Truly scared, I did

I drove straight home

He’d phoned them before

 

The driveway was bare

Where had he gone

with that broken car?

 

I felt so confused

asked God to help

waited for answers

 

He was paranoid.

fight was now flight

he didn’t know me

 

First my brother died

Within three months

My dear mum joined him

 

Paul didn’t want me 

in this much pain

So, he changed the locks.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

My husband Paul suffering from untreated bi-polar disorder locked me out of the house, the day that I woke up crying.  I had cried over the loss of my mother, whose funeral I could not attend that week, due to the bad weather conditions, the location being such a great distance away, not having enough notice to book a flight that didn't require three stopovers (some five hours long), that would even get me there on time, the cost of flights, hotel, and rental car being too great, and my grief being much too intense to go alone on such a journey, where I wasn't sure that I was welcomed by my mother's husband.  My husband Paul either awoke in this manic state or he had never slept.  I didn't know. He didn't seem to recall ever telling me to leave.  He knew that he had locked me out of our house in anger, after seeing me drive away in the car.  He decided that I left because I couldn't take him telling me to do the dishes, while I was grieving.  I know the truth and poetry sets me free.  More poetry will follow, as the ordeal unfolds. 

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For Libby

Folder: 
Old Poems

 

My heart remains on PEI

and there it rests until I die-

 

For there abides my truest

love-

I'm left with woeful

mourning doves.

 

Yes, therein lies my tragic

flaw-

The bonnie lass called

Libby 

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Lovers embrace

Me and you on the dock tonight,

Sitting beneath the starlight,

Meteors shoot and buzz through the air,

But I'm looking at you and I don't care, 

I miss this holding each other,

I wouldn't want spend this night with another,

Your embrace is loving and warm,

sparks and feelings swarm,

I know this isn't forever,

I won't be happy unless we are together, 

You wonder why,

This is why I cry. 

 

 

 

These Yellow Sheets

Staring at these yellow sheets

But the words won’t come

Pen seems to be my enemy

I know I have to say ‘goodbye’

I just feel so numb

I carried you with me

I tried not to let losing beat me

Staring at these yellow sheets

I see my life

Everything I wanted

Now I just can’t see

What has become of me?

I know I have to say ‘goodbye’

But I love you god help me

I don’t know why

‘Dear, My love…’

I write my words

God they hurt

Damn these yellow sheets

‘My love,’

They say,

‘I’ve given up’

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Love me for eternity?

 
 
If you could feel what this heart feels 
If you could hear this soul sing
Of how you give this heart a natural spring
To love within just one kiss, oh how it appeals
Say yes, be my queen, and I will be your king
For you and I have a future and what it reveals
I will be with you always through everything
For you, in my thoughts fulfilling of each
We as one soul one body I say in speech
I within you and you within me may our love take wing
The story of us forever, and forever in reach
May forever the angels sing
 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Found this in my room, another sonnet for the wedding day that never came.

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Love, the essence of beauty

 
 
Behold, beauty greater than the moon
Combined with the essence of dawn
How poise you keep yourself withdrawn
How sweet your voice an affectionate tune
How you glow in the afternoon
My love for you I can expand upon
For my heart you laid hands on
My dear, we will be together soon
For I am there in your dreams to wipe away your tears
Silence, and sweet slumber may you find rest
As I hold you close to my chest
Your fear disappears 
For in my arms you do fit best
And I will be there till the end of our years 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was the sonnet I wrote and was going to present on the wedding day that never came.

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Friendship

It is sure a jovial feel,
That I have a bosom pal,
Far beyond the Eastern hills.

 

Fathoms umpteen between us,
Ferns and plains lie across,
Can it keep our thoughts apart?.

 

Care and love form warps and wefts,
Candour forms the mighty loom,
That will weave our friendship band.

 

Wax and wane the moon as ever,
Seasons take its regular turn,
Nothing can now tear this tie.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

About friendship

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