Addiction pain lust torment

Journal of DancingBlue: Her Poem

1st Impression:

She dances on fire under the stars, underneath the
blue sky she teaches kids the joy of imagination
through reading and creative writing...a silent poetess,
narrating her life and narrating her path-the same path
the poet has crossed.
His poetry is of her interest and understands his mind...
will she understand his past; the years of darkness he
has lived in, the dimming light today.
She's in love with his spoken words; if she only knew
the demons within.
Three beautiful children in her life make her world go
round...He respects that and admires her independence.
She's still married, but distant from her husband...
adultery is the sin.
His passion she feels in his poetry, intimacy will come
sooner than expected.
The poet is seducing her in her dreams, thoughts, and
feelings...creating poetry with her mind, body, and soul.
Together they will write a new chapter in their memoirs;
like Diego and Frita, they will finish each others poems,
and paint their lives on the canvas of their hearts.
He hasn't met her, but her conversations are the most
intriguing he's ever known...Masters of their Creative
Writings they're becoming, sinning, loving, and enjoying
the silence together.
He's found the face of the ghost of yesterday's memories.
Of the girl he's only seen in dreams and silhouette of the
shadow he's spoken with.
Maybe all this unraveling is a dream he's yet awaken from;
but he doesn't mind...his life is a dream in an eternal sleep.

2nd Impression:

The meeting was set, a quiet serene setting, the sun-sets
on her ruby hair, her aura shines…a few minutes before they
met, eye contact was made, the fire was ignited…the
greeting sealed with a kiss…the conversation was interesting
during dinner; laughter, sadness, more laughs, and a Modelo
An evening at the local park, kids running around, a carnival is
the highlight of the day for the folks in this small town…they
sat and continue getting to know each other, he feel her heat,
taste her lust on her lips. Seducing her, she wants to be
They go their separate ways until the next time they meet….
Although, he leaves with the thought of her having too much
to say, she was venting more than introducing her life to him

3rd Impression:

Their second meeting was interesting; she brought him home
a few hours ago. Plans were set, changed, the ending…a night
of sex, moans, and groans…Oh, yeah; she smoked weed for the
first time in her life.
Her troubled past, keeps her from reaching climax, having an
orgasm…He released his pride four times, each time he held his
ground…she says, "It’s going to take a while to reach my full
sexual stamina again."
She’s fucked up in the head, more than he thought, but he likes
her, she’s a little naive.
He told her the honest truth when she asked,
“What do you want me to do?” …
"Keep your feelings in control, don’t fall to hard for me."
he replied…she’s married woman, time will show where this
relationship goes.
He thinks she’s obsessed with his poetry, analyzing his character
through his writings; she thinks she will find him between the
lines of his life…another troubled woman in his life; His-tory!

The Phone Calls:

He guesses he hasn't explained his desires clearly: she’s on the
phone trying to make her obsession for him worthy of cause;
"How can a woman who hasn't even divorced her husband be in
love with another man, so soon, two weeks into meeting each
other?" Two dates, one casual, the other sexual!
He's definitely in a mess with this troubled mind…so she
continues explaining how everyone else besides her has an issue
and cannot deal with them. She sure can talk!!!
So he clearly feels that all this girl will be is a booty call…she cries,
and thinks he's given his all to her…confessions of her past still
haunt her; rape is a detrimental experience a woman is a victim
too! He is sadden, he leaves her wanting and desiring...

DancingBlue this is your poem!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

a troubled mind with a troubled past...

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The Serenade (Chapter 2)


The weeks pass, fading in grandeur
The jester jests but it's only bitter laughter
The beauty I held has become a sow
Leeching off my hope to get out

Two companions join my entourage
One begging anarchy, the other keeps quiet

"Anarchy! Anarchy! Give in to freedom.
The oppressive shackles, nagging disatisfactions.
and noisy chorus' of pleas to be a drone to innocence.
What need of these? What use is it? Epicurean, my friend!
Take what you can get."

Closing the eyes against the onslaught
Trying to quiet this fog
Stumbling, grabbing at life
Watching this awkward fellowship rise

Need, fire, pain, desire
Desperate, aggressive, despair

On my knees, I won't beg for mercy
Lowering my mouth to slurp upon dirty tonic
That pleasure has merged to numbing
And secretes my logic to nothing

Now, in the silent screaming of my heart
My second companion, slowly bends down
His subtle voice, strangled with suffering

"I cannot bear to see this perpetual agony.
My friend. My half. Please be still. Why must
we pretend this is all a thrill? This disguise, lust
or obsession to hide? Trying to wipe away the
stains in red, the sins of the undead, the unrest
of the just, the righteous love, the harboring of
bitter disease? Please make our misery cease!"

Running a hand along the comfort
But fear flowing down upon my fortress
Scared to look at a blurred one-sided-
Perception of perfection: it's blinding!
What little pride I have left
Can't muster the want to give it away
The small drop of pleasure is still there
The 'life' obscured by reality I can bear

Staggering, falling against crumbling walls
Through the slur of my haze
The shock of what has taken
The jester, rolling in mud
While the courts dance among the rubble

Drink some more 'life'
wash away the colliding fight
Amongst the realities internally firing
Ignorance is true knowledge
So here we lull to be unconscious

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Chapter 2.
I know this is a bit long >.< but I couldn't seem to shorten it xD

Chapter 3 to come soon

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