growing up

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Simply Growing Up

Life is starting to confuse me, putting me through a haze.
Because as it worsens, the more I miss the better days.

Don't you remember when all complications were at ease?
When you're young, and gullible, and life's a breeze?

Don't you miss when princes were heroes and dragons were slaid?
Now the princes turn into pigs just wanting to get laid.

Don't you wish the most pain you could have was to scrape your knee?
And a firefighter, a princess, or a vet was all you wanted to be?

Remember how simple minded and ignorant we all were?
Wanting to be like your daddy, the superhero of your world.

Remeber when diet sodas were the worst thing you could drink?
And toothpaste was the only thing you washed down the sink?

Remember when crack was wack, and cocaine was insane?
And your mom's biggest worry was you wet in the rain?

I miss those days having no responsibility or choices.
A time where it was alright to hear voices.

But as we grow older and see,
How dark, cruel, and cold the world can be.

When panties turn into g-straps,
From never wanting to sleep, to always taking naps.

From trusting everyone to no one but yourself.
From saying "go jump off a cliff", to "go to hell."

From always covering up, to wanting to show off,
From a sniffle and wipe, to a snort and cough.

You change the meaing of words like play,
From being perfectly straight, to thinking you're gay.

From thinking suicide was crazy to something that happens everyday.
From never wanting to leave home to wanting to runaway.

I constantly stay in thought, I walk to the edge of the sea,
And stare at the ocean sitting there, always ready to swallow me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I hate being a teenager.

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About a girl - Part 1.

She was born
On a heat record breaking day
In England
To a deaf mother
Raised for 3 years
By her Gran

Her parents
Moved to Canada
Set up home
Then came to get her.

Canada was different
She didn't know
Or understand

This woman
Her mother
Whose voice was silent
She shunned her hugs
And attempts
Of Love

Demanded to go home
Cried out for her Gran
Stood in the corner
Went to bed early
No supper
Disagreeable
Stubborn
Insubordinate

3 months after her
 Arrival

Her brother
was born...
He smiled
Cooed, laughed
Bonded
With this woman
She did not know

"Take him back"
She said
Stood in the corner
Went to bed early
No supper
Disagreeable
Stubborn
Insubordinate

Her daddy worked nights
He came home
In early morn
Had breakfast with her
Laughed and sang
Danced with her
In his arms

Then he went  to bed to sleep
Days were quiet
Silence in a house
With no voice
Except for the babble
Of a pretty Baby Boy

When her daddy got up
In the evenings
They watched Mr. Roger's
Then he left for work

Nights were quiet
Silence in a house
With no voice
Except for the babble
Of a pretty Baby Boy

She was a child-
Who grew up fast
Listening for her mother
Speaking for her mother
In a hearing world

Helping her mother
With her baby brother
Answering phones
Dealing with bank tellers
Explaining to adults

"My mother is deaf...
You need to speak to me."

Time travels
And soon enough
There is another
Pretty baby
A girl who at 10 years
Her junior
Is beautiful, perfect
She loves her!

But as she turns 15
And her sister is but 5
Somehow
She is  a bad influence
Grounded for being
Disaggreeble
Stubborn
Insubordinate

Leaving home at 16
Wasn't difficult
he was after all 23
had a house
a car
and she could have been 20
for her upbringing
Already a master
at housekeeping
child rearing
getting things done...

but she wasn't
Inside she was
scared
And all she wanted
Was to please
To prove
She wasn't what
She seemed to be

Disaggreeble
Stubborn
Insubordinate

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Emotionally Girl

 

The waves of embarrassment 
often leave a scar 
that you often never
forget

but then are the days
when you repeat 
mischievous actions to only bring
the waves

i often wondered if you
truly cared in the
beginning, or were you always
soft?

pondering did i choose 
a helpless case
or a open 
book

i guess it never mattered
when you glanced at
my open 
legs

i guess it made you 
less hesitant to kill
my hopes and dreams
slowly

knowledge of my love
not only lust but love
for you and your
future

only to be left alone
again
and starting with no
one

i guess that's just the life
for an ungrateful-appreciative
scared-prideful-stone-faced
Emotionally Girl 

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Do You Remember When...?

Your close friends became strangers
Lollipops turned into cigarettes
The innocent ones turned into sluts
Your homework started to go in the bin
You started using your mobile in class
Detentions became suspensions
Soda became vodka
Underwear turned into thongs
Kisses turned into sex
Remember when getting high meant using the swings in the playground, not doing drugs
When playing with your best friend meant hanging out, not making out
When protection meant wearing a helmet, not a condom
The worst thing you could get from boys were 'cooties', not STI's
When Dads shoulders were the highest place on earth and Mum was your hero, not your enemy
When your worst enemies were your siblings, not the law
When race issues were about who ran the fastest, not what colour skin you had
When War was only a card game, not blowing up innocents
The only drug you knew was cough medicine, not cocaine
The only 'smoke' from your lips was your breath on a cold day, not weed
Wearing a skirt made you a girly girl, not a whore
The only things to hurt you were grazed knees, not broken hearts
Goodbyes only meant till tomorrow, not forever
The only drama you saw was on tv, not it your own street
The only thing you could cheat at was a game, not at love
Players were for sports, not relationships
The only thing we changed was our clothes, not ourselves

Yet we couldn't wait to grow up.
Now growing up is our biggest fear.

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