Drugs

"Two Arts (An Essay)"

Folder: 
Letters & Speeches

by Jeph Johnson

 

As a regular poet, my job is to observe. An exceptional poet also experiences. I find the "art of experiencing" difficult despite being an expert in the "art of observation."

 

Some people produce masterpieces with their experience alone, yet need others to interpret their accomplishments via the written word. I must allow my art to speak for itself the same way an accomplished musician or athlete allows their symphony or scoring average to shine. The difference is, I manipulate words, while conjuring the experience either from fantasy, or, in a rare instance, reality. Unless, of course I write of someone else's experience.

 

I am not alone in needing a fixation. Often for the successful poet, alcohol, drugs or some other "super-reality" inducing property provides the impetus for a newly defined or more vivid "reality."

 

In fact, I am hard-pressed to recall a successful poet who has not utilized some sort of artificial stimuli to experience a new version of reality.

 

Even the occasionally deft tee-totaling poet inspired by religion is, some would say, being influenced by a "supernatural" reality.

 

Drugs and alcohol (or, dare I say, "God"?) enhance and transform the art of observation into the art of experience.

 

Remember, at least to this point in my literary career, I've utilized drugs and drink so rarely that it really is a non-factor. God, well that's another story...

 

Consider this when examining my work (not that the artificial influence is missing; it surely is present in the theatrical "love scenes" I set up with my dancing muses): that I've rarely relied on any drug or drink to stimulate inspiration ...but, like the junkie or alcoholic, I am desperately torn between a) wanting to escape from -or- b) diving headlong into my excuses for being a poor "experiencer."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2001 

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The adict's declaration

shot into my veins

like a submachine gun

i've already lost

because the battle is won

mother, are you proud

of your bastard son?

too late for your prayers

because the damage is done

I found my hope

in a needle and spoon

I wouldnt be adicted

if it wouldnt leave so soon

I wanna crawl back

into my mother's wound

soon i'll spread my wings

from this filthy cacoon

but until my final hour

as a dieing breed

i'll burn away my garden

kill off my seeds

let my gravestone

be covered with weeds

and still you wont forget me

so for once i'll suceed

i'll be the poster child

for a drug free state

teach em' about jesus

and cover up your hate

under my picture

you'll write"Avoid at any rate"

but dont children become curious?

for them ,its too late

(the adiction is their fate)

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(sic)

some say sickness

is the truths in pills

my alternative defeats

all thrills

what i found

what i found

whole in my stomach

face full of pain

every time i turn away

everytime you look at my again

i feel disgusted

it makes me ill

some channel this laugh of mine

takes control of time

what i found

what i found

before you know it im back to it again

close your eyes and recognize

you will find me in your disgrace

this alternative will cure you

pain gone with no pill

just pure will

somtimes the greatist

help is when you try

it's no secret but its sacred

your broken lies

your heart will die

in the service of my pain

you will find me in distress

you will never

never know the truth

to your disease

not my fault

not my fault

not my fault

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is  really about a  time  in my life where  i  just got out of a relationship and i started to  abuse  drugs Thinking it  would fill the gap... it didn't.

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Heartbeats Of Rapids Confide

I remember us floating down this river

in the "Titanic" of imperishable.

The rocks in the water moved aside.

The bank seemed to hug our souls

with passion that was unmeasurable

as heartbeats of rapids confide.



Like immortals we dropped our oars

and threw out our life-vest.

Insanely we didn't respect the river.

We challenged it to sink the moment

and put this love to the test.

Undaunted it splashed us to shiver.



When I awoke along the bank side,

I realized we never moved.

The river had just held us in place.

You, my love, were across the way

and the river smiled and approved.

There was no bridge between our space.



I looked at you grabbing your chest

holding out one arm to me,

then decided what your love was worth.

I promise I never left you, my love;

I cried and turned with destiny,

then walked the distance of the earth.



When I finally reached our river,

I searched for you my darling.

The trees on the bank moved aside.

Honey, when I saw you in the twilight,

I noticed your eyes still sparkling.

As heartbeats of rapids confide.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A woman and her husband had three children, when drugs and alcohol tore them apart.  A very loving mother and father abandoned their children to pursue a life of hopelessness.  Gone from her children for many years one day she turned around to find God.  She faught to bring her children a life they always deserved and eventually she gave them a home of love.  The father was in prison for many more years but had kept in correspondence with his children.  She looked for love to find her but held out by the voice of God.  Then one day the trees on the bank moved aside as he came home a new man but with the same love for his wife.  They now live together as a family and have nothing but time to look forward to.  It is love that makes the world go round, I am certain!

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The Lesson

I see now, through my hazed eyes,

What these people mean through thier lies

They lie to help my disguarded life

All the time I thought it trife

I should have listened sooner

I guess I am a bad chooser

Well I will listen now

No matter how

I have learned my lesson hard

But is a lesson not to faintly reguard

I will go now without spreading the blame

I will life with disgusting shame

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Life Or Death

She sat in her room feeling all lost,

It was worth all that it cost,

Should see snort or should she shoot,

Man this shit was sure alot of loot.



She sits and listens to all the voices,

Seems she always makes the wrong choices.

He was so much fun and seemed so hearty,

She met him at her best friends party.



They were just going to have some fun,

Now it's months later and she is on the run.

She should have listen to mom and dad,

And all the good advice they had.



But as kids are she knew best,

Oh well, In Peace he now rests,

Her time is short and her payment steaper,

She sits alone awaiting the Grim Reaper.



That is what happens when you just don't know,

The person that you share the nose candy blow.

Use what you know to your very best,

Or deep in the ground for ever you rest.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this goes out to all of those that party with the wrong people.......

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Harvest

See you see again

Be again

Act you

Share

Grow

Care you

Nurture again

Create

Envision

Plan you

Sow and reap again

Reap

Discard

Vanish and then you

Reveal

Enlighten again

See again

You see again you

Be you be



Doobie

Doobie

Do



Again

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"My Drug of Choice"

by DaddyO

 

Part One
"Innocent Blood"

 

I met Sin
lying bare on a mirror
No razors to divide her,
just offering a cure...
My blood flows from my heart
and circulates through my veins
I feel warm,
engorged,
excited;
all this power she contains.
Never tainted,
yet bittersweet;
For she binds my passions,
but I still breathe.
I think I live, but can't feel a thing!
...take me inside you and let me see
if my blood flows only through me...

 

Part Two
"Sin's Reply"

 

I met him
so scared and unaware;
Innocent flesh,
begging me to tear.
And his blood flows from his heart
and moves where it can drain,
I see it red,
pure and bright,
with the life it contains.
Never tainted,
oh so sweet,
It's blind obsession,
he's so naive!
He thinks he lives,
but his destiny...
is to come and have me see
how his blood can transfuse to me...

 

Part Three
"Cherry-Red Night"

 

Who sees what bloodthirsty eyes can see
when below their stare
a crimson glistening
sparkles and blinds?
I feel whispers creeping
from carnal yearnings
buried beneath what remains.
She breathes passion!
Fervent cravings,
gasping labor...
pushes me to shout!
This night only flashes
cherry signs
leading to solace.
I waltz methodically,
following in despair
choreographed routines:
her decision to continue this dance.
My inability to cease...
She is my drug of choice.

 

Part Four
"My Drug of Choice"

 

My drug of choice is on the stage again
She enhances her dances
by pleasing to offend.
It's blood-sucking, mind-fucking
as she takes me and pretends;
Another manic illusion
in a life I don't intend on.
My drug of choice is now down on her knees
She refines her maligning
by offending to please
Beguiling, fangs smiling
this enticing heroin(e)
My drug of choice injects beneath my skin.
Although they're gawking, she's walking
so boldly self-assured
Slashing through the crowd
she's so devilishly lured.
Not my trophy, still she shows me
her eyes, big, brown, alive!
This blood-soaked mannequin
models what I hide inside.
Passers-by, all night,
their eyes sewn to the hem
...of her schoolgirl skirt
...her Care Bear's shirt...
But there's no pole for her to spin on!
My drug of choice now distorts and bends
The reality I used to see,
it now seems more intense.
For she's wrapped me up and trapped me
in this hyper-visual binge
Of perversion...no diversion
from my habitual prison.
My drug of choice chooses other men
To intoxicate and emasculate,
yet she stays fatally femme.
My drug of choice does it all for them,
But the Sin the other's worship,
I cherish as a friend.

 

Part Five
"To Shreds"

 

Her angelic face transforms
into demonic dance,
Puncturing my wits
as she removes her pants.
In this erotic place
where the dead of night collide
With the living innocent,
barely a smile survives.
...and jewels sparkle from her brown eyes...
...and smoke travels up her back...
...and colored lights that mesmerized,
Illuminate what once was black.
Yet a confusing lipstick smile
remains painted on my lips.
All the while she's grinning
through hungry fangs that drip.
And I imagine droplets,
sweet as honeydew
Providing her a canvas
for a caricature of doom.
...and jewels sparkle from her brown eyes...
...and smoke travels up her back...
...and colored lights that mesmerized,
Illuminate what once was black.
I am drawn into
the darker corners of her flesh.
Obsessing, visualizing,
mentally trying to molest her.
Yet I am the one who's preyed upon;
my mind fucked inside-out;
Torn to shreds
like only I can fantasize her blouse

 

Part Six
"Planted"

 

This is where she took me:
Down a hole under the city...
Perversion litters the landscape:
Men castrated!
Women traded!
Leather whips snap!
And chains!
Raped brains!
Fetish all night!
Penetrate with hate,
Genitals bent out of sight...
Shit that smells sweet,
It's called twisted,
But it's no different than straight!
Perversion litters the landscape.
This is where she took me:
A hole I call the city...

 

Part Seven
"Flower"

 

Emerging from the hole
I blossom like a flower
Seems manure has that effect.
I open up my mud-caked eyes
And look around:
I've sprouted leaves;
I'm rooted to the ground.
A flower needs light
like you need the night.
Pick me!
Pluck me!
Dick me!
Fuck me!

 

Part Eight
"Sunset"

 

Does the sun shine bliss
or strike an unyielding fist,
As it drives through the darkness in your eyes?
Smearing your mascara,
It's unbridled terror,
As you dive into the shadows of daylight.
As the sunset brings relief
will you take another peek
And crawl out of the darkness to the night?
It's a night I want to share,
I just hope you are aware
Your appearance can
distract me from your bite.
So the moon shines down
into your eyes of brown
And this time is ours
to share nocturnally.
If you give your love to me
I will drain my blood for thee,
And both of us will love eternally...

 

Part Nine
"Acquisition"

 

I will lick you,
suck it from you!
Taste your body's overflow-
Drink your juices...
your secretions...
As you bleed me warm and slow.
I am weary
and getting weaker,
Yet my climax nears it's peak-
Fuck inside you,
rope and ride you
Plunge inside you hard and deep.
I try to face,
turn and confront
Eternal bliss and impending death.
I feel content,
almost fulfilled
Because I know there's nothing left
But your torn and slender body
Pressed against
my cold, pale skin.
You have my life,
my soul, my spirit
But I finally have my Sin...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

for Sin, 1999 

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WILL HE EVER GET IT?

I am so upset

my heart is breaking

I just can't believe it

again he is arrested

will he ever get it?

I have to wonder

this all started

when just a small boy

his dad rolled him his frist joint

now look at him

the world was his for the taking

and now they are taking him away

he is such an awesome talent

but wastes it on drugs

I have seen all his movies

have watched him on TV

but now that is over

they fired him for this mistake

it is not his first rodeo

he keeps getting bucked off

will he ever get it?

I am afraid that he will not

I just can't understand

what it is that makes him do this

he could have anything he wanted

but he wants his drugs that's all

so to be Robert Downey Jr.

must be a hard thing

I will hold out hope for him

I send up a prayer

for this actor and man

may he find what he is looking for

will he ever get it?

I hope he does and soon

not sure how many chances he will get

Author's Notes/Comments: 

for Robert Downey Jr..... may he find the thing that it takes to get him back to the real world.....

and Robert stay out of those ally's..... nothing good down one of those.....

get better .... work hard....

I will miss your acting

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