Sometimes, we are put in to situations in life when the enemy is not someone else, but it is ourselves instead. I think you will find that "myself" or in your case your "self" is both your greatest ally and your worst enemy. I must rely on the strength of the Lord Jesus Christ to get through these times and others...if you don't believe, I implore you to give it a try, a faithful try, and if you do believe, don't stop because God is always there watching you, waiting for you to return to Him so He can help you...