Stunned. I could have sworn: Stunned. I could have sworn you were channeling the master himself in this very Aickmanesque and very absorbing mini thriller. You crept into his brazenly perilous territory, using the second person POV to put us right on stage with the terror, and then you let it rip.
Fantastic!
I loved every twisted, pulsing, slithering, white-knuckle moment and the ultimate shiver—the suggestion of everything unthinkable: "if, by then, you still have a mind left at all"
Thank you kindly for the acknowledgement. I'm honored and pleased that you took my encouragement and ran with it.
Sometimes the only saving: Sometimes the only saving grace is that "one star-crazed glint of memory upon the endless script of night."
And perhaps that is the worth of "centuries of joy distilled" in that
singular moment that glints when its summoning calls such as at this time.
Superb expression of sorrow.
Brings a thought: could the: Brings a thought: could the cold stone marble slab in its silence and only the desolate breeze be an exact quietude after a fireworks display of an earthly roadtrip into the hereafter? The engraved letters in the cold light of a silent moon mute the sound of their meaning still.... that after the autumn equinox the cold of winter's reticence, her chilly fingers pass and caress.
it's great
conversing with: it's great
conversing with crickets
and jotting down the words
committed to the muse
unrelenting in inspiration
thank you for stopping by and commenting
Tres interresant! In many: Tres interresant! In many mysterious ways divine communication arrives our way. The onus is on us to listen and receive what is and refuse what does not produce shalom in the spirit.
Thanks Starward. We are wise: Thanks Starward. We are wise to pick up from life's dealings and observations, and to put these to words is a way to commit to memory and to learn/relearn these useful truths. I am glad that they are well received and enjoyed.
Perhaps this is my conception: Perhaps this is my conception of what haiku and similar types of poetry are like in the western poetic tradition, not so much the form and structure but the feel and object of function, e.g. the observation of nature in haiku and here and observation of a natural course of being within a set of life circumstances. I am blessed to have this recognised by those that have read and given word of their reading. I thank you with all the gratefulness of one aiming to live a well thought out life.
Many thanks Starward. The: Many thanks Starward. The tone had to be gentle with respect to the theme and emotional height of the moment in which the poem's tale takes place. I am just glad that in this particular case it worked out. Your feedback has assured me of this without a speck of doubt. Cheers! Rik.