PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

All the delicate beauty and: All the delicate beauty and focused ambiance one expects from haiku, but this one powerfully engages the senses in a picturesque setting at the end of day. I could see, hear and feel so much from a sprinkle of details and one highly symbolic star. A pastoral delight.

I'm so glad I didn't let this: I'm so glad I didn't let this stunning accomplishment slip by. Your prowess for eloquent narration, sculpting pulse-pounding spectacle and reeling readers headlong into drama from which they can't look away, makes its triumphant appearance in the first few lines.   With a title that offers full disclosure without being predictable, you could use your descriptive powers immediately and with dynamic effect: "The groans or shrieks of/  riveted steel---twisted by brute power that/ none can measure, and none anticipated" gives way to a dread you depicted with bewitching excellence, using the scenery and the brutal cold that almost made me shiver as your palette. The "lurking darkness" became your most formidable tool in your box of brilliance:   " . . . most unknown and most fearsome to you---the gravity of it, pulling you closer, cannot be escaped; your collision against it cannot be postponed; and your consciousness of it will never cease or dissipate in the least . . ."   You continue in a voice, silky, enchanting and chilling, shrewdly avoiding stanza breaks and deploying the second-person POV to keep the reader encased in the terror. To the end, although we know how it ends, we cannot look away, and somehow, cleverly, you managed to surprise me.   In death, the victim (us!) finds life "more tangible in its dwindling" and what weighs heavily upon the dying mind are lost opportunities to do good. Worldly success fades into irrelevance. How ravishingly you put us into this final, extreme perspective, and how ingeniously you ended on an image, seen through our eyes, that is not only poetic, but cinematic and illustrative.   Believe me, the impact of your verbal skills on this enthusiastic reader, rivals the best.  

And thank you for your kind: And thank you for your kind reply.

Thankyou so much wordman.: Thankyou so much wordman. Always hard to exorcise demons. It's a struggle and I a glad that you appreciate how difficult it is sometimes and when it does finally express it to some degree glad it came together in a way that is relatable. Hugss 

Thank you for stopping by.: Thank you for stopping by. All forms are a joy for me. The describing... yes sonmany ways to resonate and appreciate. 

This is fascinating!: This is fascinating! I heard that sometimes if you burp It could be due to the soup you slurp I heard that from my friend Wyatt To see if it's true you can try it My friend thinks he's a genius But we call him Wyatt Twerp   If you ever feel the need to belch It's not a feeling you need to squelch I hope you agree And... Oh, that reminds me RIP to Raquel Welch    

but I stopped to consider: but I stopped to consider what if it's a man with beautiful nipples?