Falling Awake

Its getting warmer outside,
It reminds me of the old times.
The memories that eat me alive.
I now am forever lost in this time lapse.
I am not ageing everyone is passing me by.
The community thinks I am a mistake.
all these drugs I took.
ruined my dreams.
I feel like giving in.
I feel like giving up.
I forgot how to make friends and how to trust.
How can death be an option.
When I already feel like I died once.
I miss the comfort of friends.
Only comfort I know now is this lonely bed.
I have been laying here all day falling awake.
Realizing I am never going to be cut out for anything.
Its been 8 months since I really had a connection.
I am slowly losing sanity it seems.
I feel as if I am too reckless
I meet so few people with common interests.
I never wanted this.

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SSmoothie's picture

I can only imagine how

I can only imagine how terrible it feels losing your grip in who you want to be... This is a very real and telling piece great work! Cheers SS ps you can change it at anytime all you have to do is start ;)


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."

ADAPT's picture

Well at least my words shine bright.

its prolly the hardest thing I had to deal with in my life so far. The struggle within ones self that really makes or break a man. Its not the size of the dog in the fight. its the size of the fight in the dog. and I personally have been working years twords trying to become a musician, and the hardest thing to try and push through is when your work not being as good as you wish it was. Its like you see the potential. You see your ambition, but you can't seem to find anyway to get to where you want to be as a musician or artists. The feeling of personal doubt and you telling yourself your work isn't good enough is a lot more painful than someone else's input on it. let alone when you cage yourself up for months trying to better yourself. I am starting to believe people with great talent are typically insane and have dealt with much pain achieving what they achieved. For I am going insane trying to achieve what I want to achieve. well my words are here not whine or brag about what I been through. (i sound like a broken record) but I just hope I can help others with all this struggle. for I try to write down everything I been through and leave something to mark a way back to the path People try and follow in their lives in case they ever stumble off of that path Like I currently have. Thank you for the reply.


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SSmoothie's picture

I have much respect for your

I have much respect for your aspirations! I'm not the best at what I love, perhaps your right I'm not willing to risk insanity for it. At the very least though I am expressing it creatively perhaps one day i will fluke it till then I guess I will keep doing what I'm doing... I think you have much talent and I like a lot of your work sometimes there is no time or nothing to say : ) HugSS


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."

ADAPT's picture

To be honest It's not worth

To be honest It's not worth risking insanity for it. But, for me I can't help but try to beat the odds. I do not recommend putting all your eggs in one basket like I did. or do. and still do. its a love/hate relationship. mostly hate right now haha


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SSmoothie's picture

Lol I work in theatre its all

Lol I work in theatre its all love to hate lol! :O


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."

Krishna99's picture

Wow this is really an amazing

Wow this is really an amazing poem and true in so many ways. Good job :)

ADAPT's picture

Thank You

This is why I right. I do my best to help others find the way back.


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Krishna99's picture

That's good :) if there were

That's good :) if there were more people in this world willing to help it would be a much better world :)