About A boy and a girl

Heartache, pain

I'm freezing my buns off in this pouring rain

I keep playing the conversation back in my head over and over again

wondering how things started.

the beginning, the middle , and the end.

Now that things are over and its far from when we met last October.

I couldn't be anymore aware of what I missed out on while you were still there.

Sorry this is not a story about changing the world.

its just a story about a boy and girl who fell in love.

Then they fell apart.

their love became cold and so dud their hearts.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

um..this poem was off the top of my head so if it sucks..now you know why

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a.griffiths57's picture

I think it a shame that the

I think it a shame that the poem ended on such a isolating note;  both suffering indifference and their hearts becoming cold. I would like a more romantic ending; I think the reader of your poem  gains experience of their own imagination, comparing the poem to some of their own experiences in love or just a relationship.tovelofan 1.




allets's picture

Off The Top

Is a great way to write a prose poem. Plain, simple, okay (as in far from sucky) - no devices clogging the works, just all you and the way your brain puts ideas together - original - Lady A



tovelofan1's picture

Thanks for the feedback :)

Thanks for the feedback :)