PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

My first, last, and latest flame

Brain branded like cattle

At the Circle Nothing Ranch.

I can't seem to replace

Your disappearance

With anything of substance

So-

I smoke and sleep

And think I see you

In passing cars and others' photographs

All the time content

To be unloveable.



From first night out

Until I graduated from

Xes on my hands

I held out hope

Always believing I didn't try

Hard enough

Or that it would happen

When least expected.

Truthfully, I never expected you.

In the end it was the same -

I was unloveable.



I searched in the faces

Of everyone I met

Whoever shook a hand

Or spoke a name

Was potentially

Meant to be.

How soon I learned

'Twas not my lot,

Forever cast as "friend,"

Eccentric, and

Unloveable.



So affection was sought

In arms of ugliness

Filth, fucking, fury

At the situations

In which I placed myself.

Looking in the mirror after,

My reflection berated me.

"Arrogant, overweight creature!"

The last word spat with a snarl

"The book of your life,

Unreadable, unloveable."



Now, months on from this past

My stomach turns

And my head aches

But all is well.

Alone on a Friday night

Without two cents to rub together,

Writing words few will

Understand or appreciate,

I am satisfied.

My soul smiles

Under aluminum armour,

Proud to be

Unloveable.