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I've lost more than i care to remember, I've gained some of it back

Memories, loved ones, things

I'll never see some of them ever again, and the ones i will don't recognize me anymore

I could name the names but i would rather keep them locked away

Just like the memories of happier times

The drugs and alcohol are the only things that will never leave me

Even now I'm shaking trying to type this

I said I would quit, but that was a lie

I said I loved you, but that was a lie

I said I would live for you, but I don't know how to

We swore we would never hurt ourselves or each other, but that was the biggest lie

We were bringing new life into this world and into our world, but that was a lie

All these lies I would like to lock away and forget about

But I'm not allowed to am I?

13 names, 13 Reasons, Lucky number 13...

There should be 14 but we never came up with a name

6 million reasons why not, everyone says

But those 13 names, 13 deaths I've seen

7 of which i have found, alone

The 14th...had no choice in the matter

She blamed me for everything, it was my fault she's dead.

All I had to do was not relapse, but I lied

I lied to everyone, I lied to myself

I'll never forget these lies

These lies define me, these lies are who I am

These deaths are all my fault, I should have stopped them

Said anything different than what I did

I'm sorry