Everything You Want


I will never be everything you want,

the blend of lost and found.


I am soft edges

not a broad shoulder to collapse into.

I wish too much

and do too little.


I am half a meal and you will always leave empty.

I don’t have the world

or even a place for you to break down like I have.


You tell me I am beautiful.

I want to believe you

but I can’t when you keep looking the other way.

I know this does not mean you are dropping me,

the slippery fingers of a question mark girl,

just holding me the same way you hold your dreams

and I am the last person to hold that against you.


I would hold out for you

if I knew you didn’t want to hold someone else’s hand

so I bleed what I lack and I can’t stop bleeding.

I paint you in red and you still can’t find the colors we are.


You will make someone happier

than I have ever made you

and I hope it is easier than this.


I don’t give you a forever…

if I did it would be rocky

and I don’t want to be the reason you trip.


I hold you like a girl.

This is not everything you need.


My thoughts say

you had to try falling

for this whirlwind head,

for the halfhearted space I take up.

And I can’t help but think if things were different


you would be more in love.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 7/18/17

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