From drunken ashes….
By jfarrell
You’ve seen the harry potter scene…
The phoenix burns to ashes…
Then reappears two minutes later…
Egg, to little bird thing, to renewed phoenix
I was a drunk…. august, this year, I was still a drunk…
I AM a drunk… and proud of it….
My dad drunk and beat up his family…
I drank, went to sleep, wake up, drink…
Rinse and repeat…
Today…
3 women kissed me on both cheeks….
Everyone I work with patting me on the back,
Shaking my hand….
“Thanks, Jim”
Most I felt valued, alive,
…... like, ever…
And I haven’t got a scooby doo why.
….. not that it isn’t all nice…
Since I returned to work,
I faced a lot of my worst fears….
Heights - serving champange 25th floor of building…
London at night, all lights, forever…
Never seen London look so beautiful…
Crowds - being stuck on Olympic Way….
From station to work takes 5 minutes…
After work….
Hugging the wall, and kissing, very lovingly, every lampost….
THERE’S NO WAY OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After work….
50, 000 people and a little extra…
All headed for the same station….
…. trust me, I really love those lamposts….
An anchor…
In this OCEAN of people….
Anchor…
What word could be more appropriate?
SPACE….
To roll a smoke, to dance a jig….
To plug in my headphones and LEAVE EARTH>>>>>
A space, chance, to breathe
And…
So many beautiful women, everywhere…
20 years, locked in my flat, alone, celibate….
There IS a very good reason I chose that.
I’m too scared to be a phoenix.
I’ve seen my future,
Alone,
Forever and ever.
Please don’t drag me from my ashes;
Let me smoulder…. burn…
“a taste of honey is worse than none at all” - great song…
I don’t want no part.
Fears - LOVE - vulnerable, pain, hurt, heartbreak….
I don’t want no part, too scared to…
Let me lie in my ashes
And never rises again
please