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Forged
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Unpleasant (PG-NC17) I had permission
And a machine gun
The wobbling truck
Part rust part greasy smoke
Turned a corner and growled at me
Snakes coiled in my jaw
The truck burped exhaust
The driver unseen
Six people in back, two up front
It rumbled foward
Warnings unheeded
Was God watching me?
Did he see me pull the trigger?
Did he weep for them?
Did he forgive me?
What did he think when
Those in back erupted in red
What went through his mind
When I sprayed the cab
In a mist of steel
POP like a paint bomb
The windshield coated end to end
Did he see when I
Yanked open the door
And watched the headless
Waste of a body
Pour from the seat onto the street
And when I looked down
From a streaming stump
Than once was a neck
The rage fled from me
I had shot to death seven men
And one woman
She would have surely
Done the same to me
If I had let her
As would the others
Run over, gunned down, dead and gone
I walked away grim
The last of the child
That once shared my smile
Was burned to nothing
Now all I am was forged in war
I don't laugh as much
When I do, it's not
The same as I did
I fear--have I sinned?
I pray still, and still no answer
Was I to be forged this way God?
Is this how steel is made of souls?
Do you still have a place for me?
Is there still a harp for these hands?
Now stained with the blood of others?
I kneel now to pray
I fight for the words
That always slipped through
These lips now so tight
As I lay my head down tonight
Is my place in your heart as bright?
Wow...I am at a loss of words. How you can portray such a feeling that only a person in a soldiers' shoes can feel remains amazing and unbelievable to me. The feeling of guilt it elicits and the images of an innocent boy unsure of his innocence as a man reveal themselves easily while reading this piece of art.
i really enjoyed this. i didnt know what to expect with their category's title haha, but im glad i ventured in. i'll be back to read more. and thanks for the comment on my page, its much appreciated.
-cayla
Does God curse the elk for striking down the lion? Does God despise the hawk for feeding of the snake? If it was self defense, if it was them or him then it is justified. Was this during the course of warfare? Then shit happens. And if it's a matter of God forgiving, the Christian Bible says that God will forgive those who ask forgivness (John 3:16). From there, it's up to the individual to accept that forgivness and in turn forgive themselves. Yes, it's hard to live with the guilt of taking another human life, but if the result of not doing so is not living to see tomorrow then it isn't a tough decision. And sometimes you don't have time to make the decision, only to react. And afterwards you cannot second guess a desicion like that. You have to stick by it and tell yourself you did the right thing, because you're still alive to tell yourself that.
I just thought I'd say I really like your work, not just this one, but in general. Thanx for the critiques of my work. I hope I get the chance to read more.