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Never Fails To Amaze Me
I am often an incorrigibly grumpy old fart, highly opinionated, often thought "fanatic" in my Faith (which, as I grow older, reminds me how much I need my Redeemer every moment), and sometimes resolutely unyielding in my beliefs about Poetry.
Much as I have critized my parents, for their oppressive interfernece in my childhood interests, my my adolescent (and mostly one-sided) romances, and my desire to be a Poet (beginning in the Autumn of my senior year of high school), I must acknowledge that they taught me some decent manners regarding the use of the word "please," and, even more importantly, "thank you." Please and Thankyou do not recognize ethnic or religious labels, degrees of wealth or poverty, degrees of education or sophistry, or any of the other labels we, as human beings, so eagerly placed upon our peers and classmates. Please and Thankyou are absolutely required---whether in the corporate boardroom high atop some metropolitan skyscraper, or on the floor of some convenience store when purchasing a frozen cola. I cannot think of a common situation in which Please and Thankyou are inappropriate.
I am, therefore, amazed to see poets on this site failing to acknowledge the courtesy of comments placed upon their poems. This morning I happened to look at the main page of a particular poet, whose name I will not mention. This poet seems to be prolific enough, and is a regularly featured presence on PoatPoems. The poet has received, however, relatively few comments. Those comments received seemed to be highly complimentary. Yet, although that poet does not seem to have any problem posting a poem (or what that poet might believe to be a poem), not one of the few comments received have been acknowledged with even the two words of Thankyou. I cannot wrap my mind around this. I would have thought that the fewer the comments, the more precious each one becomes, and therefore some expression of gratitude becomes absolutely vital on a site like this one. Yet this particular poet (not the only one, I am sure, but the one I have noticed lately) blithely or flagrantly disregards any opportunity to acknowledge a comment.
Communal courtesy does not require an elaborate response, explanation, oe argument in response to a courtesy (although these are nice to provide when appropriate). But, in my opinion, I think communal courtesy requires at least the response of a Thankyou.
I am a very poor keyboardist and proofreader, and to these failures I also add the failure to keep up with my reading on this site, and with my own response to comments I have received. If I have failed to acknowledge a comment you placed, please forgive me. That failure is the effect of favtors other than a desire to be rude or a negligence that is, by its nature, rude.
PostPoems is a community of members, whether some of those members wish to admit it or not. On my deathbed (which may be closer in time than I would like to think), will I tell myself, "Gosh, I wish I had faled to acknowledge more comments," or will I regret the failure to unintentionally neglect a comment or two? I think it will be the latter.
Starward
I believe I know of the poet
I believe I know of the poet you speak. I do not know why they choose never to respond, but sometimes I wonder - with the sheer grief in many of this person's poems - if maybe there's something I just don't understand about why they publically post poems but otherwise don't participate. Ultimately, I am often taken by the writer's work, and while I rarely leave a comment due to the fact that they are likely disinterested in comments, I still will leave one from time to time, just out of appreciation of the way a certain poem of theirs may have struck me.
Overall, I do agree that it's appropriate to be courteous of others when they take the time to read our poetry and prose, even if the author's main purpose is not to share with others here (despite posting publically). Still, I never expect it nor anything else back for leaving a comment. And I do hear Stephen's point about some people using postpoems moreso as a sort of capsule. None the less, if someone passes you on the street and offers a compliment or kind remark, isn't it proper to say thank you? I think, as much as possible, we need to apply the rules of the physical world to postpoems and the rest of the internet. It's been one of the biggest flaws of the internet that we haven't done so very often as societies.
The only thing that leaves me disspleased with another writer is when they delete a comment I've made. It's rare on here (though it did happen to me recently). That's a mortal sin, to me. Once I discover someone has done that, I will never read or comment on their work, again. This is one of the last places where censorship has not become a backbone of the community, and I pray it stays that way.
Also, like you and Patricia have said here already, I miss comments sometimes, too. Or, sometimes, I read them at the end of the day when I'm exhausted. I'll want to say something more than "thank you", but am too tired to put words together, so I plan to respond next time around. With my memory, sometimes I forget. There have been times where I've only stumbled upon comments months or years later, as a result of one of these two occurrences. As such, I would be remiss to believe that the majority of people don't do their best to respond here, and so I always try to keep that in mind, as well.
Lastly, I just want to say thank you to anyone who has taken even 1 moment to read anything I've written, and doubly so, if you've been kind of enough to remark. I don't expect any of it, but I do greatly appreciate it. And I appreciate these healthy conversations, just as much if not even more.
Thank you for commenting, and
Thank you for commenting, and you have expressed the point far better than I did, or than I ever could have done. I appreciate the logic of your viewpoint.
Starward
To what ever degree that is
To what ever degree that is true, I'm glad. Thank you for such a compliment, for sure.
I have, at times,
I have, at times, unintentionally failed to acknowledge comments, but I feel the way you do about the simple politeness, the consideration, of a response that takes far less time to write than the poem itself.
But that's just me. Others are welcome to their opinions on this because there's no hard and fast rule, and I can't judge their circumstances, but, personally, I can't shake that sense of etiquette—just as it would be very awkward and rude to ignore someone who complimented me to my face.
When I first started posting here I did only want an archive for my poems, and I was surprised to find out that people were actually interested in my work and leaving comments on poems I didn't consider quite polished or complete. Then I discovered that this site has a feature that allows me to post privately. Other sites also allow members to keep a private archive of their poems or to disable comments. I have quite a number of poems in my private stash that, for one reason or another, I don't want to share or I don't want comments on.
But once I hit that "save" button, I feel that I'm inviting people into my work and if they take the time to read and express their thoughts, I'll take less than a minute to thank them and, most often, take a look at what they have going on at their page.
At this point I'm going to offer a blanket apology to anyone who didn't receive an acknowledgment of their feedback. Often it's because I didn't receive an email alert or I'm insanely busy.
I'm thankful that you do have the sense of empathy, graciousness and generosity that you do because you've gone a long way to make this little corner of the web a place of inspiration, encouragement and fine art.
For this, I'm forever grateful.
First, let me say openly that
First, let me say openly that my delay in responding to this comment must make me look like the biggest fool on PostPoems, and I sincerely apologize to you, Patricia, and to all of PostPoems for appearing to be not only neglectful but also disresecptful and discourteous . . . after writing an essay about the community spirit of PostPoems. I am sure this has made me look like quite the idiot, and I ask for your forgiveness and pardon.
In your comment, perceptive as usual, you have validated the point I have tried to make.
But again, my failure to respond in a timely manner has basically taken the wind out of the sails of this essay, and I have appeared to be the biggest hypocrite. This was not intentional and I am very, very embarrassed.
Starward
As Stephen expressed,
As Stephen expressed, everyone has their priorities to attend to and it would be unreasonable, even discourteous in my own way, to make no allowances for your personal situation. Even if you didn't have the struggles and afflictions you do, you are certainly free to respond or not respond as you please. Now I'm feeling a bit foolish. You have nothing to apologize for.
The important thing is that your articulate essay opened up a discourse. Enjoyed this discussion!