LOVE & TEARS

Folder:

"Realization"

I'm a product of sinful passion,

So Lord, Father, I'm asking...

That you bless me -

Protect me from this misery that's meant to molest me...

And these niggas underestimate me...

Women undressing me with their mind's...

Am I the only one who gives a damn if I died?

There are laws that lie inside me,

More like amendments -

Mending broken hearts caused by broken commitments...

Within my life's resentments

I'm a prisoner behind the cell of my own tears,

Shackled from arm to leg,

Held at gunpoint by my own fears...

I am my own enemy,

For I see the evil in me which no one seems to see...

I'm a nigga among men,

Sin is my soul, cold and heartless...

So many years I've spent drowning within this sea of tears...

No one hears these...

Primal fears are remorseless and contorted...

My distorted ways comes back to haunt me on so many days -

So cold -

Old souls prematurely of age -

Forever plagued...

By the time that's given to them...

We're all captured in this cage,

Preparing for Him...

I owe the rest of my life to this misery,

So I guess my internal debt will never be paid...

History unlocks the mysteries and the...

Truths are all sour...

Knowledge is power, but

Wisdom behold secrets never revealed,

So may truth be told in its will...

That ignorance is bliss,

So may happiness be devoured...

We're all cowards...

Just be honest with yourselves...

Who had the balls to be in the halls of the Twin Towers on Sept. 11th?

And at this very moment,

Would you have been here, Hell, or Heaven?

We're faced with the obstacle that in death we're all goin dwell...

But Heaven or Hell?

Life is a minstrel cycle inside a pantomime...

My piece of mind is a piece of a woman's anatomy that's hard to find...

No intertwining with myself and the belief of homosexuality...

You reap what you sew,

So through your experiences you'll come to know that Hell's knocking at your soul...

Judge not that should be judged first,

So only for Him will I ever keep my mouth closed,

But this is just the gist of it...

We're in the day of our last hours...

I think back to childhood memories now turned sour,

and our dreams are becoming no more than figments of the end...

Somebody run and spread the news -

I found the place where all pain ascends...

It's in the heart,

And what smart mouth said that love isn't the world?

Shit, it's contagious,

It's got me going crazy - my baby I miss...

I'm sick without my fuckin girl...

I got the blues and I'm burning,

Eyes red and running,

Turning purple,

Sick to my stomach, yearning for something,

Maybe some pills to pop,

To stop this fuckin hurting and vomiting...

Suicidal second chances...

Someone hand me that aluminum can please...

Slit my fuckin wrist -

Running free down in Hell's mansion...

Free from the misery,

Mind eased of the pain,

But now I'm sweating and getting hot flashes,

Begging God for just a drop of rain...

That's what I get for talking shit,

Slitting my wrist,

And popping pills whenever I get pissed...

And now I'm faced with forever sleeping with my soft lips reached out for Satan's callaced fingertips...

I'm wounded hearted -

Out smarted, with a broken ego,

Broke down like children's Lego's,

Shattered into a thousand emotions,

Scattered in Hell's humble abode...

I'm cold, but I'm hot...

Fears frighten me not...

I want out, but I'm stuck...

Fuck! I must have forgotten...

All that shit the Bible says about suicidal intentions...

I regret not my whole life,

Cause if I could have it back,

just give me the last 3 minutes...

Fall to my knees in prayer,

Looking up to the air,

But all I see is fire in flames burning everywhere...

And the things in my dreams I would change...

I want not the money or the fame,

But the little, simple things like holding my fiancee again,

But this is what it's come to...

Man, I'm wondering "how?"

"Feeling blue, eyes burning, stomach turning, vomiting..."

Yeah, I remember,

But she's not the reason I'm here now...

Somehow, I understand God,

We all have to go through a little pain...

To become a little more smarter,

It makes life a little less harder,

In the future,

Cause our abuse makes it a little easier for our sons and daughters...

So I pray just a little bit longer...

Awaken back in my room,

A pen and paper I consume,

Writing a letter to my girl just to let her know that I miss her...

Tha Prodigal One...