Each Sullen Day

Each morning when I wake up

And start each depressing day

I can’t help but wish I could be

So very far away



Each day I say will help

If I can just make it good

But something always goes wrong

And doesn’t go as it should



I can’t enjoy myself

No matter how hard I try

Something always gets me down

That makes me want to die



I’ve got two very hard choices

I need to make the right one

In my head I hear the voices

Telling me to get it done



Every morning when I wake up

I wonder if today’s the day

That I will do the job

And send my pain away



If I start to laugh

Something always stops inside

My whole world shuts right down

And makes me want to hide



My energy’s getting low

And I just start to cry

If only my pain would go away

If only I would die



These two choices

Are the hardest ones I’ll make

To die and leave the pain

Or live for someone else’s sake



Maybe it’s just me

I take things at heart

Or maybe it’s my soul

Being torn apart



Sometimes I lose my appetite

Sometimes I lose control

I’ve already lost my energy

Now I’m losing my soul



So in the morning when I wake up

And start each depressing day

These are the reasons why

I want to be far away

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this poem 2 weeks before I got Saved. I was contemplating suicide, and was very serious about ending my life. This poem was the one that chokes me up the most...because I still remember the pain I was in when I wrote it. The tears that fell onto the original paper as I wrote it. God was the last thing on my mind at that time...who would have guessed that in just 2 weeks after writing this suicidal poem, I turned to Christ and within an INSTANT, I felt the most GENUINE joy I'd ever felt in my life! MY LIFE!!!!!!!! Thank you JESUS!!!

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John Caravalho's picture

I so understand this poem its so much the way i feel right now you have no idea

Naomi Angeline's picture

wow, this is powerful... I read this aloud and almost had a flash back of my own life while reading this...
I can tell that God has done a similar thing in your life as He has in mine, I used to be suicidal too...
and it's weird because my senior year in high school I planned in my heart that I would kill myself as soon as I graduated, and God radically revealed Himself to me right in the nick of time!

Praise God! \ً/

Feel free to check out my site... alot of my poems on my site are before and after I got saved.

Stand firm,
~Naomi