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Bound to love
Hatred i felt for him
For he is the one that took her from me
Just a picture of her remained
And kept holding it if was her
One morning i saw her
Couldn't understand why
I kept walking by
And felt my pride being left behind
One night i saw him
afraid to make a scene
tried to slide by
but got me in one try
rushed over me with fear in his eyes
voice low like a whisper from the night
just hes looks made me think
that she was no longer here
told me she was gone
never to be loved again
couldn't understand why
looked at me with simpathy in his eyes
knew were she was
a promise once we made
if we split ,well meet there
down the cliffs of étretat together she said
on the floor she was
went to her with every breath
arrived near her side
but hope was gone long before
found her dead
words couldn't be said
only wind whispered to us
so decided to end it with a cut
light i saw
her in it
thouth it was weird
but heaven was sweet
Potential
Hmmm...it's quite long, which is okay for some poems, but...I think you should find a way to eliminate some stanzas. It's a great story line, but too many words. Try finding some more exciting synonyms for the more tiresome words that are in every poem. It will make this much more readable. A short, bold, to-the-point piece I will fancy much more. Edit this piece, and I suspect it will blossom into something great!
thanks for the comment ill
thanks for the comment ill try edit it a bit and well see hehe ,and btw fantastic pic;)