There was a time, I believe in it,

Or though I did!

Pains is selfish and when I first try,

I never spare a though for the ones,

I would left behind,

But still, I would even to these days,

Argue that mental anguish can be so strong,

It can make the most strong,

Blind to the rest of the world,


As One, I watched those who choose the final exit,

Some was friends, family one my first love.

The ones who have gave me the strength to live,

Was often the ones who choose to cut short,

Their talents, I wonder if the weight of creativity,

Is no gift but a burden, too heavy for the genius?

Everywhere I look up too those who have planted the seed,

Of my passion, seems to have perished from it.


These days, I drifted from one light to night,

Because like all things in life,

No-one can pass judgement upon one despair,

Everything’s in life is a choice,

Call them cowards, weak or whatever pleases your ears,

It is their choice and no humans have the right to be their judge!

Too many have kept secret the agony, to protect their love ones,

Who has the right to ask one to live for others?

I was under the impression; this life was given to me,

Not to breathe to please the crowd,

And if I disappointed you, it was not to hurt you,

But to cease the anguish, who was eating me…


But then again, when In May, I woke up in intensive care,

I was blessed not to remember anything’s,

Days and nights in the coma and no light at the end of the tunnel.

They say, I don’t have any souvenirs for Almost 1 week before,

Because peoples who hang themselves, starve their brain from oxygen,

I guess it was not the right time, 3 minutes and it would have been all over.

But after days in a coma, I open my eyes and saw the faces of my loves ones.

Their was no tears, it was too late for that, or too lucky for it,

All I know, I try to look up to the light,

Despise I still don’t know, where I stand!

In the shadow or the morning rise?





This poem is in no way for you to choose what I did, as I say, we are all in charge of our destiny, find the light.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

hopefully 1 learned from his mistake!

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robbie's picture

Someone in my family did this

Someone in my family did this very thing, It is such a secret. When it is mentioned it is quickly covered, The truth is bent, broken or left unspoken. Reading your poem is liberating. Like my mind is free to ask the questions it wants to ask. Thanks for sharing the poem.