Find me

I feel sadness, 
I feel mindless, 
I've stayed strong for others,
But only really for my mother, 
I've tried to think of happiness,
But I feel aloneness,
It all seems like a memory, 
a thought which can't reach me, 
my love has gone from me, 
and even love wouldn't help me, 
For I'm in hell,
In which I fell, 
my brithday is up and I don't think it will be a happy one,
For I am done,
I drowned my self in bottle or two, 
yet I still feel like a fool, 
I hate to say it but my light has gone out,
Like a lake in a drought,
I need help but I never ask for it, 
I need god,
A friend and stranger too me,
I know that your gates wont open for me,
But for once come look for me, 
All I can do is stay alive, 
But I wish to die,
These words are tained with pain,
Yet they say nothing,
I hope and pray but my faith has gone,
I feel no bond,
Everyones love can't penatriat the hate,
I don't even know date,
I feel alone,
And fully grown,
Like a old dog that has been thrown to streets,
Wondering endlessly in the dark,
Like a soul without a mate,
Or a son without a dad,
Alone in this curel world,
I knew it would be hard, 
But honsitly,
I can make it, 
I just don't want to, 
I don't care about myself anymore,
For i am lost,
And only wish that I am found...
 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

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palewingedpoetess's picture

Try to remember you are more than your negative thoughts.......

so much more! you are the watcher that watches the thinker. Try to separate your true self from all those negative thoughts which come from your egoic mind. You are more than that. Try borrowing from your local library the book 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle or just go to you tube and watch some of his seminars heck watch all the ones on him that are posted and they will help you to realize you are so so so much more than your thoughts. When we know better we do better. Read that book and you will see. It will give you much peace and understanding of your true self. I then dare you to sit down to paper and pen and write of your experience. You are never broken no matter how much you may feel you are it is an illusion, a story your egoic mind keeps repeating so to make you believe its tale. It was a lovely poem just too overly sad and crying out for help. I hope my words have helped. Sincerely Melissa Lundeen.........