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Sometimes I cry.

Tears rolling, falling around me.

I gag, I cry, I curse.

Bitterness is not my thing

But yet again

Crying used to not be, too.

I wanna

Punch, kick, hit, scream,

Fight the demons in my soul.

Thoughts are a curse,

A curse that doesn’t want to leave.

I think, I breathe, I cry again.

I think self harm.

No not that route.

That’s not me, I love me.

I want something drastic.

I want a new life.

I want to not feel this pain

Of losing my best friend

And him not even giving me a thought.

Waiting, crying, reading through the tears.

I want happiness,

I want love.

I want inner peace.

It’s time for my pill.