I Feel So Stupid
Dear Sweetheart.
I am so sorry that I never told you what I wanted to tell you before I left.
I Feel So Stupid, That I never talked you about it, none of it was about neglect
If only I can show you that I’m still the same like a mirror so that I may Reflect
On the things I should have done with you, but the past is the past.
I wish everyday that I could’ve changed it but Damn time goes by fast!
I never forgot anything about you, which is strange
And I’m still trying not to set my mind into derange
I looked back at everything I did when I talked to you and…
Just like that… you slipped right out of my hand
I tried to catch you, but I guess I never tried hard enough
When I found out that I wasn’t the only one I never knew it would be so tough
I Feel So Stupid, trying to speak out to the people, but how am I to speak with gruff
What else can I do? To Resolve this? Or better yet to solve this?
I’ve been through it all, but you’re the only memory that I truly miss.
My Heart burns, cracks, weeps, shakes, crumbles, crushes, and worse off all breaks
So far last year, you were the only one that wasn’t one of the those fakes
But who am I to judge you? I barely know you but it seems that I’ve known you forever
What the hell am I saying? God I Feel So Stupid, why can’t I say never?
No! not this time, I’ve been running all my life no more will I pass the ones that mattered
Everyday you’re on my mind but with the shit that’s happening to me is why we scattered
I miss you and I regret not telling what I wanted to tell you when school ended
You are everything that I ever wanted, I never told you that I’ve always tended
About you, and all that I was trying to tell you for more a year was that I liked you
I Feel So Stupid
Enjoyable, but definitely not flawless.
I really enjoyed reading your poem. The style is catchy and I might actually try writing something like this myself. But It doesn't flow. There were a bunch of endings to the sentences that didn't really sound like something someone that is going through college would really say. Like in the second Stanza you use the word "derange" at the end. It make some sense, but left me feeling for an emotion that wasn't there, because I don't think it was the right word. Also, the word "tended" near the end of the third stanza doesn't quite sound right. Thanks for posting this! I hope my criticism was helpful. I don't mean to downgrade anything. I'm still learning to write too, so if you could take a look at what i have done that would be a great help to me.
- Zachariah
Finally
even at some people's hardest times no one can do the impossible if they really tried, I wrote this at a very depressing rate, i'm glad you realized that, i'm surprised yet waiting for someone to say something about that.
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