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At Golgotha, 3
He promised you, but gave no word to me.
Now he is dead; his life too quickly taken
this afternoon. You sag, unconsciously.
I am again alone . . . in pain . . . forsaken.
The hour of this day---and of life---grows late.
But while my twitching carcass still has breath,
I cling, defiantly, to my vast hate
and wear it, like a royal robe, to death.
For it is mine; all mine. Mine was its making;
and mine the crimes committed for its slaking.
But even now, it neither pleads nor begs
from any man. Yes, I have served Hate well,
and it will stand me in good stead . . . in Hell.
Here come those Roman pigs to break my legs.
Starward
[jlc]
Ok, maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so. It is my opinion that this is the thief who did NOT ask forgiveness while hanging on the cross beside Jesus, and who railed on Jesus while the other thief asked to be forgiven of his sin and went with Jesus to paradise (This day you shall...). He was not sent to Hell for a sin. He CHOSE Hell for himself rather than accept the Lord. I realize that everyone reading this poem will not be a reader of the Bible and perhaps that is why this was confusing to the previous critic. However, to me it is the story of the third man on the cross who chose hate and death and a bottomless Hell over changing his ways and admitting that he needed help only God could give. But that's just my perception.
By the way, I thoroughly loved this poem. Beautifully written and from a point of view seldom used.
Jessica
There is rather interesting, Jere. I hadn't before read a poem by you where you used a narrative of a sinner. It was rather interesting and thought provoking. I thought it was a bit rash to send him to hell for a sin. I personally believe that God forgives us for our sins if we accept Him into our hearts. I didn't see him refuse God, but I didn't see him embrace Him either. Maybe, you didn't tell me, the reader, whether he refused or not because you wanted me to think more critically than just taking the worth of your words. In any case, I hope you never stop writing and are able to continue your path with the Lord.