Two excerpts from a novel I am writing. Feedback perhaps?

I had hated nothing more than being something he had grown to love. Angered as to why I wasn't the beautiful woman on the street who grabbed his attention in the way I'd later grab him by the collar to drag him into my arms. Why I was a mess of a child with scratches on my arms that I put there because I didn't know where else to put marks when I was hysterical. I wanted to be the immediate spark in his heart and not a dull and drug out attachment. Troubling. You know? Have you ever wanted to be anyone else but yourself but you're too afraid of the adjustment if your wish had been granted? I feel like that. It's summertime and I'd like to lay in his yard with my shoulders showing and a smile on my mouth, but those sorts of things aren't designed for me. Just like he wasn't.
 
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He grabbed my hand and raised it to his lips. 
"You've been upset."
He traced the edges of my nails with his fingertips, the nail polish crumbled across the tops of each nail.
"Oh yeah? What do you know?"
I pulled my hand from his grip. 
"I know that I can't leave you alone for a minute without you forgetting that I love you." 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is about the relationship between step brother and sister, the sister who has trouble with herself and suffers from body dysmorphia. 

I am writing this to explain the ways that this sickness affects relationships, and the psychological aspect behind falling in love with someone who looks at you like a child as opposed to a beautiful woman. 

I am writing this from my own perspective because the female character in this book is what I am.

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