A florid dispersion of dust strewn across the room
Disparagingly taking inventory of the self-inflicting doom
Awoken from the most precious of slumbers
Into a morning of callous darkness and velvet tambers
Like a ball point pen that has become desiccated and trite
Trying to deceive reality into a departing morality as upright
Reposed broken, burdened, and bare
Completely unable to obtain the infinite amount of air
Indignity offers a few turgid words in a prayer or two
While rapacious urges do not succumb but undo
I even learned something
I even learned something today. I have never, ever, seen "awoken" used in any writing. Looked it up, and Webster's New Collegiate tells me you are absolutely correct to use it. Gosh, I learned a new usage today.
Starward
This is one of your most
This is one of your most perfect poems. Sound and sense, pronunciation and emotion, all work together in a seamless effect. Ths is textbook-worthy to show beginning poets how it should be done.
Starward
Haha I like the sound of that
Haha I like the sound of that ^_^! Thank you so much!
The usage and words
make this a truly excellent poem....and the assonance and consonance transitioning between lines six and seven are...probably one of my favorite parts...I Love the speech and flow and feel of the way U,R,and B meld together ...and is something i use to a certain degree as well because I enjoy it so much. This is magnificent...and beyond you in years....Please accept this compliment ...you certainly have wowed us all again with your poetic brilliance! Respect
You sure know how to give a
You sure know how to give a compliment... thank you so much :)
,
This is *really* good, very smart. Thanks.
Like a ball point pen that has become desiccated and trite
Trying to decieve reality into a departing morality as upright
Thank you! :)
Thank you! :)
Bravo!
I don't say that often. "undo" took my breath away lady - Just Bein' Stella
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thank you so much!!! you're
thank you so much!!! you're such an amazing writer, so I very much appreciate your comments!!!! :)