I've got to say one thing,
If I could change your mind I'd be happy again.
In every dream and every thought I see your face,
Smiling at me.
Girl from my heart strings,
I can feel the sadness churn in me,
like the wind upon a falling leaf
spinning me round and round.
Oh how my crying mind drives me insane.
I can hear your mystic voice calling my name.
If I could change it all I'd still be with you,
now that I know the truth.
I'm like a gypsy with nowhere to be.
I got a crazy magic potion working in me.
I'm caught in my heart and I can't break free
you're stuck in my mind.....and you're so real
now I can't forget about you.
No I can't forget about you.
Hi Eric! Well, it was certainly a surprise to get a critique of my own. However did you find me? Anyway, on to critiqueing the poem: Excellent portrayal of regret about relationships. The last stanza is especially good, the lines just stand out more for me, for some reason. I especially liked the line, I'm not sure exactly how it goes, but the one where you say "you exist only in my mind, and you're so real." That one really got me. Great job, I'm always in awe of people who can rhyme their poetry and yet make it sound fresh. Nice work... ~*Maggie*~