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Tomorrow I may die.

                   No, I'm not going to put a gun to my temple. Relishing in the thought of a moment when the pain ends. I am not even going to slip that necktie around my neck as I take that sudden drop, the curtains close for the final time. Tomorrow I may die, some freak horrid accident would be my guess by years of observing the crazy and twisted irony this universe and this life seems to be playing on me everyday.

So let me give you an example here, I could list many, many examples most are commonly known to be the oxymoron's of the universe. For years I remained distant and when I say this I want you to try and at least picture the magnitude of that meaning. I have been drove to the point of suicide, I have been drove to the point of violence and I have also been drove to the point of giving up and having not a single care to this world or anything within this life.

             We ride the tides of chaotic emotions, thoughts and feelings. Sometimes you give in to them and then there is that spark of possibility. Life is the single most complex paradox I have ever witnessed. Nothing is ever what it appears to be, the proverbial 'Cat in the Box' theory. I bare scars from the many times I had decided to let go, or floor it and ride that crazy train straight to the station, where only failure and pain waited for me and as I began the slow process of picking up the pieces of my shattered life, there stood you and everyone of you laughing at me, mocking me, repeating like a broken record at just how stupid I was.

The hardest part was knowing that while I can manage the pain, the sting of suffering, my thoughts mourn over that time lost. While safeguarding those precious moments when that ride was fun. They serve also as a reminder to those memories we only wish to forget about. In the beginning they are bitter and resentful yet over time they become a treasure to what you had been through. War trophies to one of those chances that you in fact had survived, possible with a scar as well.

                                     The woman who stole my heart.

                      ….And she never even gave it back,

             It's like being asleep when you suddenly wake up, a sucker punch to your cortex. All of those feelings and desires come flooding in. Those lost but never forgotten emotions you thought had died within you so very long ago. Out of nowhere she walks into my life. My god where did she come from? An enigma wrapped within a veil of chaos. Why my path? Why when so many years I woke to the same mundane routine. It was not until later however that I realized that was the very reason she entered into this paradox. I've been a person driven by change, since the moment I could stare up at the horizon and dream of what was just beyond my site. I grew complacent in my situation, the humdrum routine of the same pattern. This universe while not always giving you what it is that you desire, or want. It will however bring to you the thing you need, and the woman who stole my heart had also opened my eyes to undiscovered treasures. A piece of the puzzle that I still find myself trying to solve when I already know the answer; There are no answers, but only questions.