sad depression hopeless delusional paranoid

Confusion

CONFUSION
Am I a Recluse? Or could this purely be depression
Staying alone brings joy to me,
Yet makes me suffer inside as I fear being alone
Paranoia?
Maybe, Hardly making any sense
Words jumbled up inside
Letting it come out as it wants to
Am I a Recluse?
Hundreds of hours spent on daydreaming
Good dreams, innocent dreams, yet
Filled with destruction, pain, hurt, fear
Can it be depression?
How could it be Kay?
You have everything you’ve ever wanted
Friends, Love, Family, Wealth
What more do you need?
SHUT UP DON’T TELL ME I HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT, YOUDON’T KNOW ME
Can it be depression? Or Paranoia?
Am I Emo? No I frown upon them
Am I suicidal?
Never! Not my thing, I fear death more then I fear myself
What I can do, I’ll never know
My mind gave me a clue,
Sick, twisted?
No, Forever smiling
Is that smile real? Is it for Pretend?
NO DAMMIT IT’S REAL I’M A HAPPY PERSON
I just need to know how to show it
Recluse, Depression or Paranoia?
If I had to pick one
I wouldn’t
At the end of the day it’s just me
And my sick and twisted mind
That is loved and adored by everyone
Little do they know I don’t know what to think

(99% of the people reading this will never understand)

No one seems to like the way I'm acting

 

 

No one seem to like the way I’m acting

But I can rationalize everything I do

So I’d take your advice if it made any sense

And I’m use to the brown grass on my side of the fence

 

But you know I’ve tried to change

I’ve tried to alter my brain

With capsulated happiness that make you more insane           

And I paid some guy

To tell me It’s all right

And then he probably goes home and tells everything to his wife

I bet you love your job

I bet you love your life

And you laugh about me in the middle of the night

It’s all so fake

But I’m so real

Delusional maybe but its how I feel