The God, The People and The Child

7 replies [Last post]
Go-a-Green-a's picture
Joined: 2010/12/08

"Love us," said the People to the God,
staring up into the endless fog.
"Give us light so we may see,
give us shelter so we may be,
give us pleasure, give us wonder,
take away the pain and thunder.
Give us dreams, dear God above
give us passion, give us love."

But the God stares down in solemn silence,
and gives them hate and fear and violence.
Gives them agony, gives them strife,
makes them suffer in their life.

"Fear me," said the God to the People,
perched upon a bloodstained steeple.
"Pray to me and beg and cower,
give me all your stolen power,
only those who see will be,
worship me through agony.
Give me fear and love each breath,
or suffer for it after death."

And the People stare with fearful awe,
they take down notes and write out law,
they battle and kill in name of God,
they patch the blood with dirt and sod.

"But why," said the Child to the God,
standing deep in a sinking bog.
"Why ask for love and give us hate,
why make us fear an unknown fate?
Why give us dreams when we still bleed,
why give us pain and dreadful greed?
Do you hate us, God above?
Do you reject all our love?"

There was no voice from high above,
the answer came from a burning dove.
It's wings were bent, powerless,
the flames they licked, blazed, caressed.

Then the God, the People and the Child saw,
all were alike and all were in awe.
They cried and screamed and then they ran
all their hate was the shoulders of Man.

i_fell_on_deaths_wings's picture
Joined: 2003/05/04
at first i was turned off, but kept reading

I look at religion as one of the major downfalls of humanity and our society today. So when I started this poem and immediately wanted to halt. But I was interested as to what the ultimate theme was going to be here. I liked this poem because the idea of "God" is nothing more than a natural human reaction to the many unanswered questions we were faced with as early unintelligent beings. God was perfect for our ancestors because the idea held an answer to EVERY question we had. Seems like a logical solution right? I agree fully. Religion was a pertinent part of our history and development of a structured society. With that said, relugion no longer deserves or  should be allowed in an intelligent society such as it is today. We have come far enough and the need for such an immature and sorry form of government is no linger needed. We have disproved almost every claim that religion has stood by for centuries. Each religion with its own God and own creation story and countless false claims, yet they all and kill for there god. The number of deaths in the name of god, far out ways any other. Yet these are peaceful religions and people. Anyway  I went on a rant but my point was that I liked how you stated that God was created by man. Thank u for the post 

DeeBlaine's picture
Joined: 2015/05/19
I really like the concept of

I really like the concept of this poem. You clearly have put a lot of thought and effort into it. Thanks for posting.

I will share my first reading impressions below. Feel free to use or ignore these suggestions.  Just my opinions.


"kill in name of"

Seems this should be "kill in the name of"


"But why," said the Child to the God,
standing deep in a sinking bog.

Awkward: What is sinking? The child or the bog? Consider revising.


"There was no voice from high above,
the answer came from a burning dove."

Not clear: Did it come *from* the burning dove or was the answer *in the form of* a buring dove? 


"the flames they licked, blazed, caressed."

Awkward grammar.  Remove "they" and revise.

I am also not clear how a buring dove send the message that we are all alike.


"They cried and screamed and then they ran
all their hate was the shoulders of Man."

Meaning is unclear. How can hate be *shoulders*?  Is it *on* the shoulders of man? I don't get it.



Incompl's picture
Joined: 2013/04/22
I dunno..

I disagree. I enjoy abrupt endings and that is what I would call this ending, not rushed. I really love this, it has to be one of my new favorite poems. You write beautifully. 

Let your teeth show

andymadden's picture
Joined: 2013/04/17

I  enjoyed this very much.  I agree the end needs work.  But up until that point, I was very impressed.

Lovina57's picture
Joined: 2012/08/05
Agree with echomonkey about

Agree with echomonkey about the rushed ending. Other than that, I loved it. It flowed well and kept me interested. It had emotion, but I didn't really understand the endinp till I read your comment.

forever_kL's picture
Joined: 2012/06/08

Well, as the people, we all have a part to play. Not only in our daily lives but we need to help other around us. As Gods people, we were designed to fit the world and what's the world without care?

Go-a-Green-a's picture
Joined: 2010/12/08
Well... in this poem I tried

Well... in this poem I tried to imply that the God, the People and the Child were all the same thing, Man, humans. Their God being nothing more than a reflection of themselves. This, of course, is not about a pure God, only how people can corrupt what our God or Gods stand for by doing wrong and perverting what religion should be about, peace, love and harmony.