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Starward commented on: Words Like Smoke and Sand by patriciajj 2 years 19 weeks ago
On the last night of my: On the last night of my hospitalization, and anticipating tomorrow's return home, I am very glad to have read, and now to comment upon, this poem. I am not going to write my usual comment, but I am going to be very personal, because I think this poem deserves that kind of response.  In other words, rather than discuss how the poem works,  I am going to disclose a more difficult aspect---how it works on me as a reader. First, this was gut-wrenching for me to read, because I wish I had articulated to Etienne, in college, what ypu have written here.  Etienne and I could have shared what you have so brilliantly described as the green sizzle of a world in love / with light and just being.  (BTW, these lines are the poem's gravitational center.) Like the great Poets who are your peers, you take emotions that are inexpressible for most of us, and attach to them certain images that function as bearers of those emotions.  "These fragments I have shored against my ruin," T. S. Eliot wrote in the final section of The Waste Land, and you have shored up the emotional ruin that I experienced after failing to respond to Etienne's love, and that has haunted me since 1977---and most especially since his passing, several years ago.   As the Poem concludes we have several aspects of one process---the spritz of light among pines, a sound like wind or words, and the pouring of sand to fill the world.  I remember from my childhood watching dawn light come through the pine tree farm that was adjacent to our back yard, and that was always a comforting sight, despite, if on a school day, what kind of bullying (for being different) might be in store for me.  The sound of wind---which, in Scripture represents Holy Ispiration---and the sound of words (another speaks to me, so I am not entirely alone, despite being made to feel totally alone and isolated by my shabby treatment of Etienne.  And finally, sand---as ballast, to balance the world, which may---when these emotions that the Poem names comes among us to make us teeter off balance when the emotional resonance is a little too much to handle, as it may be from time to time while we are alive in this flesh.  However, the sand pouring into the world is also the sand in an hour glass, bringing nearer that hour when we shall be released from these deteriorating bodies and can soar, as released spirits, into the Kingdom of Love, where the person you address in the Poem, and Etienne, will be waiting to greet us, and to give us those words of absolution in that dominion of unrestrained Grace.   You have placed many marvelous comments on my poems, and my Ad Astra series exists because of your encouragement.  But, with this poem, you have shown me a side of yourself, and a side of myself, that exist apart from our sitewide personas as Poets (you, major; me, as minor as the day is long):  rather, in this poem, you and I, and you and anyone else who has shared these feelings of regret (sometimes, as in my case, a desperate, almost choking, feeling of regret) meet, not as Poets, or as Poet and reader, but as raw souls carrying burdens that we just cannot put down.  And in this way, your Poem enters the Canon of Literature as an equal to the poems of three other Poets:  Eliot, Cavafy, and Vergil.  Each of them has given us a poetic description of what it is to be a raw soul.  And your poem is, in the final analysis, hidhly uplifting as ir presents, in its conclusion, the processes that function as balm upon the rawness.  The entire poem is one of the most emotionally searing poems that I have ever read; but, like Dante's Comedy, the balm is offered after the sear has been endured. Thank you for posting this poem; for ministering to my soul; and for giving me a way to articulate my horrible failure toward Etienne, and the hope and promise of his forgiveness---which, in the timelessness of the Kingdom of Love, already exists. _________________________________________________ PS.  I am always a day late and a dollar short, and I have a bad habit of not including important details in some of the comments I make, so I want to amend this one now.  I mentioned, above, Vergil, Cavafy, and Eliot; bur I forgot to mention Pop Stevens, which was stupid on my part because your Poetry as a whole joins his in the cosmic or long perspective; but also, this poem reminds me of two of his "healing" poems---"The Poem That Took The Place Of A Mountain" and "Final Soliloquy Of The Interior Paramour."  In both of these poems, he set aside, for a moment, the cosmic grandeur of his other stuff and spoke about the soul's rawness, and its need for a Poem as high and sturdy as a mountain, and a Poem that would articulate that final soliloquy.  This is what you have done with this poem.  You have put youe cosmic grandeur on hold for a moment, while ministering in a very personal way to those of us who, like you, have this burden of disappointment.  You have helped me here, even more than Stevens has helped me, because you have spoken directly, in this poem, to my sorrow about Etienne, and have shown me how it can become joy.
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Starward commented on: @ 27.225 MHz: WallStones; At The Villa Diodati, Geneva, Switzerland, July, 1816 by J-C4113D 2 years 19 weeks ago
I re-read this comment just: I re-read this comment just now, and it has helped me realize that I have another poem in me on this same subject.  I have long wanted to write one from the POV of her stepsister, Claire, whose nearly lifelong jealousy of Mary became an obsessive hatred in her---Claire's---last, late years.  Mary's son, Percy, actually had to take legal action to restrain Claire's libels from being disseminated in England, although she continued to produce the most atrocious lies about Mary in the other countries that she visited from time to time.  Her claim to have love letters from PB Shelley inspired Henry James' novela The Aspern Papers.  She was never able to produce those letters, not when her nephew sued her, and not when several scholars pressed her for the evidence.  At her death, no letters were found.    I think it deliciously ironic that, when one reads the Introduction to the 1831 edition of Frankenstein, only four people are named in her account of the summer of 1816:  herself, the two Poets, and John Polidori, the physician.  Claire is simply not mentioned at all as being a part of the group.  She did not participate in the contest that her lover had proposed when they ran out of ghost stories to read.      So, if I can pull off the sequel, from Claire's POV, it will exist largely because of your comments on this earlier poem, and I will be sure to acknowledge that.  Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley is still, as my former faculty advisor pointed out in the summer of 2001, my girl, but your kind comments and understanding are my sustenances for so many of my poems.
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Starward commented on: ambiguous summer breeze by tula 2 years 19 weeks ago
Browsing through the comments: Browsing through the comments section, I saw that this poem had received a comment from Patriciajj, and that is always sufficient to bring me to a given poem.  And I was very pleased to see that it was a Haiku, with the traditional 5/7/5 format.  And I saw that it is a very impressive Haiku with regard to its content, as well.  I applaud your poem!
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patriciajj commented on: ambiguous summer breeze by tula 2 years 19 weeks ago
A striking and artfully: A striking and artfully constructed connection to nature. I love the use of contrast after a short, evocative stanza to introduce a message and some strong feelings. Enjoyable and innovative work.  
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patriciajj commented on: Climate Refugee by allets 2 years 19 weeks ago
And Michigan hasn't seen the: And Michigan hasn't seen the worst of it. In places like South Asia, air conditioning is the great devider. Try telling them it's all a hoax.    Your delightfully spare and to-the-point poem confronts the very real possibility of mass migration. Crucial and impressive.     
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crypticbard commented on: Visit To One Of The Seventy by J-C4113D 2 years 20 weeks ago
Wow: That is an amazing tale of intellectual travel. And that the journeyers both could have been farther apart from each other. Perhaps like Paul and Mark, sometime in the prophetic future, in body or in resurrected body, there shall be a reunion and a resolution as all is revealed at Christ's return. God bless.
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Starward commented on: Visit To One Of The Seventy by J-C4113D 2 years 20 weeks ago
Thank you.  The French: Thank you.  The French Poet/diplomat, Paul Claudel, once remarked that Q had inspired a tremendous amount of scholarly activity considering it was a book no one had ever seen.  Its existence is totally speculative, and its content is derived from this formula:  those sayings of Christ that are common to Matthew and Luke, with any materal found in Mark deleted.    About twenty years ago, I exchanged several emails with Burton Mack, a prominent theologian and scholar, who has written extensively about Q.  In my undergraduate training, the concept of Occam's Razor---that the explanation with the least amount of assumptions was probably the most correct one---dominated the department in which I pursued my major, History.  Burton Mack has put forth an explanation requiring, if I recall correctly, four or five assumptions---which, as I pointed out to him, was a vulnerability when viewed through Occam's Razor.  I submitted that, accoring to Occam, an explanation with a single assumption would defeat the one with four or five.  My explanation, and its one assumption, was that Q consists of notes (written or mental), taken by the Seventy in preparation to carry out their mission as recorded in Luke 10.  And, if I recall correctly, after presenting that explanation with the suggestion that it defeated Doctor Mack's, I found my follow-up emails blocked.  In saying all this, I do not mean any disrespect to Doctor Mack, whose accomplishment (with most of which I do disagree) is formidable, and whose reputation in the scholarly community is deservedly massive.  I was grateful that he, holder of a PhD, would deign to correspond with a failed historian wannabe who held only a BA.  
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allets commented on: I Can Live Without by allets 2 years 20 weeks ago
Hope Not Hype: One day reason and logic based problem solving will replace the three fingered discount. Fund what works (ends the problem) what lasts. Its a dream I have. :D
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georgeschaefer commented on: LOGIC by georgeschaefer 2 years 20 weeks ago
The prince of darkness: The prince of darkness emerges victorious
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crypticbard commented on: Visit To One Of The Seventy by J-C4113D 2 years 20 weeks ago
Amazing insight. What calms: Amazing insight. What calms my querying is that little note from John the Evangelist at the end of his Gospel that the whole world itself could not contain the books that would be written if they be written, as if to say, what makes its way to us today if enough and suited to our need and plenty enough to fill our thoughts and longings. But that's just me. Thanks for sharing. /Rik.
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crypticbard commented on: Poet, Speak! or forever be silent by arqios 2 years 20 weeks ago
Thanks, Patricia. You are: Thanks, Patricia. You are much appreciated.
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patriciajj commented on: I Can Live Without by allets 2 years 20 weeks ago
A hundred percent agree. Well: A hundred percent agree. Well said. 
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patriciajj commented on: Poet, Speak! or forever be silent by arqios 2 years 20 weeks ago
Bolts of brilliance rip: Bolts of brilliance rip through this amazing definition of poetry. But my favorite moment is that silky closing:    "It takes but a whisper to free the wandering soul."    Glorious. 
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allets commented on: Same old same old by Teytonon 2 years 20 weeks ago
"suffer the effects": . Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. ~A~ 
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Rebecca commented on: Feelings by Bec.J 2 years 20 weeks ago
Thank you for taking the time: Thank you for taking the time to read my poem :)
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