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The Saddest Love Song...
Here I am again, finding my way to sleep… or it will be one of those sleepless nights that started when I realized I love him…from that time on, I have never been happy…I smiled…yes.. but deep inside I still feel the pain...the sadness... I tried to hide the feelings with laughter I showed on my face but when no one sees me, I’m drowned into tears… when I’m alone the tears never left me.
And tonight is just one of those nights of sadness. I sat here finding my way to forget the pain in my heart, to run away from the emptiness I bear……
What could be the worst thing that will happen in your life… Losing your heart…losing the love you have always waited in your life…Losing your one true love… Indeed it is…and it happened to me..
The love I’ve been waiting for all my life, came unexpectedly, that I really never knew it is there, that it exist… I just realized it when it’s gone… when the love he once felt for me vanished… that is the only time I’ve realized that I’ve loved him and that the love I’ve been searching all my life is right behind my nose and I didn’t even noticed it…until it flew away from my hands…
The love I’ve been waiting for all my life is just around the corner, but still I wasn’t able to see its existence… I’ve been busy chasing for the love, that I ignored the man who have loved me. My eyes were focused on the other direction that I didn’t noticed that the love I’ve been looking for all my life is right behind me….then it happened…the truth shocked me…. When I already knew that I love him, he already have someone with him, he love someone new.
The pain thumps me, when I realized the feelings I have for him is deeper that I ever imagined, that I have always love him in the deepest corner of my heart, that I’m just afraid... too afraid to admit it to myself….and when I finally did, it’s too late…he doesn’t love me anymore… the man who had loved me before is the same man I am deeply in love with right now.
The song that’s been playing in my heart is him. That the melody that touches my heart is his existence… the friend who have been my crying shoulder, the man who always give me the reason to smile & to dream, the soul who have been half of my soul. The man who can touch my heart in his simplest ways...The man who could make my heart sing….... The song that’s been playing in my heart is gone… the love I’ve been waited all my life vanished…
My heart & my life will never be the same again… Deep inside I know there will be an empty space… a space that He alone can make it whole…… I know I will not be whole again…. I realized it now… that losing him, means losing my heart… And I know from the moment I realized I love him, that I will never be in love this way again…..
I'm sure you loved him deeply. Yearning for someone is fine, but I think you should move on too. It's not to be disrespectful by saying it but that's just life. I know it, because I've face it too. The thing is, don't lose the opportunity to find someone else out there who you will love and for that someone else to love you back!!! I'm sure love will always find a way for you if you can move forward towards hope, not of yesterday's regrets... / Fantastic prose by the way!