Poison Within My Heart

Crimson blood was about to spill,
Leaving me in a fucking pissy mood.
I didn't think that I would let this go beyond the limit.
Hate from you is what I deserve...

How did my mind grow mature so fast?
I knew what you were gonna say beforehand...
At least you didn't have to see me cry from heartbreak,
Because you would've changed your mind like a PMSing bitch.

Somehow, I expected this to be more sad than usual...
I guess that I've grown used to this kind of bullshit,
Even though you were my third love interest.
I should have known that you were gonna end up hurting me...

These days that pass by us daily,
You always asked me if I was okay like a friend.
I would automatically end up saying that I'm okay,
but how would you expect me to just be OKAY??

We kissed each other so many times, even in the heavy rain.
You would just hold my hand tight while we cuddle close,
Just underneath our spot near the park in the shades.
Don't you just remember those good memories we had together...?

This poison has filled up completely in my heart,
Leaving it nothing but a vessel of venom mixed with blood.
Guilt has taken over my mind completely...
Nausea fills my stomach with plain sickness.

Anger fills every empty hole of my feelings,
Controlling what's left of what I lived for.
There's no use to hunt you down for the truth;
I already know what it was before you had the chance to say goodbye.

Let's go back to who we were in the beginning;
Complete strangers who pass by each other every single day at school.
I've lost every feeling that I longed to have for a lover.
This is just the end for the both of us...

You've lost what could have been yours for the rest of your life.
Everything is just to be blamed on you...
How could you blame me for making you realize?
Realize that you weren't ready to keep someone precious without letting them go?

When the autumn comes back to Earth again,
That's when you know that the misunderstood woman you knew and loved is gone...
You fucking murdered her and left her to burn into ashes.
Don't try to look for her again when you decide to walk back into her life.

I'll be dead by then before you know it...
More dead than you can fucking imagine!
You'll see a familiar woman passing by you everyday,
Somebody that you used to know...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is about my ex boyfriend, who recently broke up with me on a Friday night... Even though we were together for almost a month, he just couldn't withstand the stresses he's having and working out our relationship since I was his second real girlfriend and he was my third. Can't say I really blame him since his first relationship was ended a while ago when it almost lasted 8 months. But, he should have known what he wanted in the first place... Ever since that night, I got really ill and I could barely sleep for more than 5 hours a night (this is still going on) and I only eat like once a day. In addition to that, I get fucking irritating daily flashes of memories and it hurts my head and I'm just stressed out. Maybe this is the best for both of us, unless if he stupidly decides at school to try and win me back, but I highly doubt that now that we barely talk to each other anymore...

I referenced some songs into this, haha. Hot N' Cold by Katy Perry, What Should I Do by Jisun, and Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye.

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SSmoothie's picture

Girlfriend, no young lady should ever be upset over

a teenage boy! they are not anywhere near serious at that age! you should be jumping for joy because now you have and exciting time ahead of you the pick of the bunch! for every door that closes another 10 open! which means options fun and why not even a little flirting! how exciting Mr right now might just be down the street! I hope you feel better soon hugss


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."

MissSaigon's picture

I think you're right

I think you're right, I shouldn't take these things too seriously and take the opportunity to enjoy life while I'm still in high school. :P I'm getting a bit better now and thanks for the advice :)

LoveMe93's picture

I worry about you.

I worry about you.

MissSaigon's picture

I know you do, I'm sorry

I know you do, I'm sorry about that.